Kismet
by ReiraChanXD
Summary: His expression shifted and in that moment Sakura's whole body shuddered with the realisation that this man, from the look in his eyes alone, was going to absolutely destroy her. In more ways than one. Rated M - involves teen pregnancy (no rape) - don't like don't read.
1. Capture

**Warning.** This story is rated M. It involves teen pregnancy (but no rape). If you are uncomfortable with the idea turn away **now.**

Chapter 1 - Capture

It was a disaster. Not just a disaster but also an unexpected disaster.

Sakura's heavy head lolled back against the cool, stonewalls and her eyes fluttered shut.

The throbbing in her head, though weaker than before, was still ever-present and her eyes burned despite the dimly lit room.

Or was it a corridor?

Sakura wasn't quite sure. The concussion was beginning to subside and she was finally beginning to piece together her surroundings as opposed to just snapshots of the damp, grey ground every time she woke up before passing out again.

Her eyes opened slightly to assess her surroundings, something she should have already done but her concussion was excuse enough.

A metal frame cot, thin sheet, discolored mattress – lay directly to her right, further to that was a small metal toilet and a sink, somewhat covered by a partition.

 _Wait._

 _There's a bed in here!?_

 _Motherfucking bastards couldn't be bothered to deposit my sorry, unconscious ass on the bed! Just let me spend, what 3 days? On the cold, fucking floor_

Sakura cursed inwardly, but the reality was beginning to settle in. This is what she should have expected from them. Having a bed in itself was a mercy.

Her head rolled against the wall to the left where they leveled with the tall, metal bars spanning the whole wall; a small metal door embedded within it.

The dim light came from a lone bulb flickering weekly somewhere down the corridor past her cell doors. The corridor seemed fairly long, although it felt like she was the only one in there.

Felt from the pure silence, because she couldn't truly feel without use of her chakara and the dumb fuckwits has made sure to seal every last drop of hers.

She brought her wrist to eye-level, her arms heavy with stiffness from sleeping on the floor and the healing bruises. Examining the intricate seals ingrained in her wrists closely, Sakura could only helplessly wish with mind power alone to undo them.

Her hands fell to the floor beside her in resignation and her eyes closed once more as the throbbing became intense again.

 _How did I end up here?_ Sakura moaned inwardly for what had to be the 50th time since she woke up.

Her head ached as she attempted to trek back through her memories, and sure enough she couldn't think up a single thing that had triggered this mess. It had all been going smoothly – as it always does before disaster strikes – but it really was an unimportant, low profile mission that had close to zero percent risk probability.

 _Of course_ their mission just had to be the outlier.

Tsunade had been sending Sakura on routine missions with medic-nin teams for months now as part of her training. It was standard procedure, 2 medics and 3 normal shinobi. They traveled to distant places high in the mountains or deep in the forest for collection of special medicinal herbs and then they returned. Sometimes it was a research team searching out new specimens and sometimes it was simply to restock.

Sakura had been on more than a few of these so far and there were never any risks. It was why Tsunade had been so willing to let her go. With Naruto off training with Jirayia and Sasuke-kun out attaining eternal power or something of the like, Sakura was stuck in Konoha whilst all her friends were going on team missions and well, _doing things_.

Tsunade had offered to reassign Sakura to another team, but Sakura had bull-headedly replied " _Once a team seven member, always a team seven member_ ".

And so Sakura had spent the time since Naruto's departure as Tsunade's apprentice, with the occasional resupplying mission. It was calm and peaceful, aside from the exuberant letters she received from Naruto and the occasional word on Sasuke-kun's possible location, Sakura was enjoying life just as it was.

Therefore she didn't understand how, a mission that was C-class at _best_ had turned out this way. Tsunade's ANBU squads always checked potential routes beforehand, and pooling together various resources it was only once she had the all-clear she gave the go ahead on a mission.

Either Tsunade's sources were faulty, or the ANBU squad had fucked up, because the route they had taken wasn't clear. Not one bit.

Three days hiking through a mountain had been fine and all, especially when you had no potential of engaging in combat any time soon. Even the three jounin who were essential to the medic-nins support and protection, felt comfortable to take it easy, calling these missions their "vacations". And in no-man's land, where they weren't encroaching on known enemy territory nor any of the five countries, it was easy to get carried away.

Steep mountains, humid climate, rocky banks – Sakura had been prepared for it all. Akatsuki territory on the other hand, not so much. "Caught off-guard" – the term didn't even do it justice. It was closer to a dog being put down in its sleep than to an actual ambush, because in an ambush there was at least opportunity to retaliate.

There was _no_ retaliation.

Low on energy, unprepared and spread out – they were easy meat. Hardly a challenge really, especially considering they had not just stumbled upon a two-man team, but what seemed like a majority of the cursed organization.

Sakura had been crouched by one of the jounin, tears streaming down her face and covered in blood. He had taken fatal damage protecting her and Sakura cried as she poured all her energy, whatever she had and could muster into healing him.

She cried harder as the blood continued to soak her dress, his pulse quickly fading. He was older than the others, older than Kakashi even and he had always been kind to her, had never treated her like a kid and despite being 14 years old had listened to every word she said as if he was speaking to someone of his own age. He always made sure she was warm and fed, and was the first to offer her a hand in steep places.

He was gentle and caring and she was sure he had a family back home. He had mentioned at one stage, that he loved taking these missions because it assured his family he would be home safe.

How cruel was fate. They were _never_ safe. Not in this world.

Even though Sakura knew she had to get up and fight, or more importantly get up and run away before she was noticed Sakura couldn't find the will. She continued to pour her soul into healing the dying man, completely and utterly overwhelmed by her emotions and by the situation.

In hindsight, she probably wouldn't have made it far. Not from them.

Her mind was a haze as she saw footsteps approaching her field of vision; she looked up just barely, her hands never leaving the man beneath her.

She recognized instantly her perpetrator.

The Konoha defector, the Uchiha clan traitor.

Uchiha Itachi.

He held a long blade in his hand, dripping with blood and his eyes held the crimson of the sharingan. The steps he took towards her were slow, purposeful.

Sakura felt as if the small circle of trees surrounding her were closing in on her. She could hear the cries and screams of the remaining members of their small team, a short distance away. She wondered how many were left. If any.

Her eyes focused on the approaching figure, emerald irises glazed over and filled with grief. Her brows were set in firmness, in determination and in resignation. She made no move to leave, she was glued to the ground and to the body she helplessly tried to heal.

He stopped a few paces away from her, and Sakura looked up in slight surprise as to why his sword had yet to descend upon her.

In that moment her eyes locked with his, for just a few seconds so quick she almost missed it, she watched his lips form around the word:

" _Run_ "

But it was too late. For even if she had managed to push the body of her lap, to stand on her fear-frozen limbs and run, it would have been too late.

"Why the pause Uchiha, surely you've killed a child before"

The voice was cold and distinctly feminine, cutting in her speech in a way that sent shivers down Sakura's spine. The woman was beautiful – Sakura didn't even know there had been a female member to Akatsuki – but she held an air about her that would make even the strongest mans balls recede.

"I merely thought, she was different to the others" The Uchiha responded without hesitation and it was the first time Sakura had heard his voice – deep in tenor but smooth and crystal clear, as if there was no doubt whatsoever in the words he was saying.

The female's gaze narrowed, her sharp, grey eyes piercing Sakura with a gaze so intense Sakura broke out in shivers. She looked upon Sakura as if she were worth less than dirt, a disregard so firm in her features that it seemed to question the Uchiha's sanity in the process.

It was only when her gaze fell upon Sakura's hands, which had until this point been non-stop, continually pumping chakara into the body of her fallen comrade, did her expression change.

"I see what you mean" As if those words explained everything, she turned on her heel swiftly, barking an order to the blonde Akatsuki who happened to be passing by her.

"Take the girl"

He seemed to open his mouth in opposition but thought better of it, making his way over to her in three long strides and leveling her with a grin so wide it could only be classified as manic.

"Sorry girlie"

She hardly had time to register his words before she was struck on the head and the world faded to black.

Sakura rubbed her head ruefully, she didn't know much about the sharingan but she did know it could put a person unconscious within seconds, why hadn't the imbeciles thought to ask the Uchiha to do it instead of damaging her pretty little head?

Sakura moaned as stretched out her limbs, attempting feebly to bring herself into a standing position for the first time in days. She moved to a crouch at first, moaning and groaning the whole time before collapsing back into her position slumped against the wall.

She almost fell into slumber when the sound of creaking metal snapped her wide-awake. Her eyes darted to the left in panic; she could hear the door at the far end of the corridor open followed by footsteps echoing in the empty corridor.

Sakura instantly feigned a position of sleep, relaxing her limbs and muscles as much as possible so that it looked like she had passed out against the end of the bed.

The figure came to a halt in front of her cell.

"Oh goodie your awake" there was a pause during which a clattering sound echoed around the cell as something was dropped to the floor and was slid into her cell.

Sakura could hear her heart beating in her ears, desperately trying to control her breathing so that she wouldn't give herself away.

The figure stood by the gate for what felt like eternity, before speaking again.

"Or maybe not" he seemed to be talking more to himself now "I'm sure she was in the middle last time" It sounded almost as if he shrugged, the nonchalant tone which he used to regard Sakura almost as if she were a sack of potatoes pissed her off but she remained still, her fear far greater.

"Dead or alive, foods on the floor" he spoke as if to her this time, before spinning on his heel and making back the way he came.

She could hear him muttering to himself as his footsteps receded, just barely able to make out one sentence.

"Maybe the Uchiha bastard should come check on her next time, if she really is dead…"

* * *

A day and a half passed before Sakura was visited again and sure enough this time it was the Uchiha. Sakura knew it the second the door at the end of the corridor had opened, knew it from the heavy stillness only broken by slow, purposeful steps echoing cleanly around the room, the gentle scrapping of metal, the soft swish of hair against the flutter of fabric.

Sakura who had been conscious enough now had the ability to perceive all these small details; the aura surrounding the Uchiha was one of a shadow in the night neither seen nor heard but present nonetheless.

He was the true embodiment of Shinobi.

And the fear. Sure it was there, but since being brought there Sakura had already resigned herself to her fate, her worst possible nightmare had already happened and yet somehow she was still living, still there.

And no ounce of fear would change anything.

"Awake" His head tilted slightly to one side as he regarded the form hunched on the bed, her back against the wall and her knees drawn to her chest.

She turned towards him and already from the dark circles under her eyes to purple bruising against her face from where she had been thrust unmercifully onto the ground; already she was a different girl from the one they had brought in.

Her lips parted as if to speak but all that escaped was a sigh as if she thought better of what she wanted to say, instead she turned her head back and rested her undamaged cheek against her knees.

The silence lasted a while, with no element of time-telling in the cells it was hard to gauge how long it lasted. The cell seemed to dissipate around them, narrowed down to only three elements – a tense heaviness, the strong smell of damp and the vast emptiness of the corridor.

Eventually he spoke, voice quieter than usual, deep and clear but almost gentle as if the bearer of bad news.

"They will require you above in two days. Be prepared"

He lingered a moment longer as if anticipating some sort of response from her but when none came he turned away, back down the long corridor that led to some degree of light.

Sakura was still for a long time, tears rolling quietly down her cheeks without her permission. His warning was signal enough. They had a purpose by bringing her here, that much she had figured already, but the truly terrifying part was what use exactly would an evil, terrorist organisation have for someone like her? She was neither great nor powerful, she was not of a limited bloodline nor from some royal family.

There was _nothing_ great about Sakura and that was exactly what scared her the most.

The more Sakura thought the further down the rabbit hole she found herself falling. In attempt to shake herself from such depressive thoughts she rose from her position and reached her toes to the cold ground with view to begin pacing her cell.

It was then she noticed it.

It was small, nondescript but above all clean and that was exactly what set it apart from everything in her cell.

She made her way over to the bars, quietly and carefully as if any wrong move would scare the inanimate item away. With slightly shaky fingers she reached out and picked it up, trepidant as if it may explode in her hands.

A book.

" _The adventures of Alice in wonderland"_

It was almost as if the next two days never existed.

* * *

A/N: Have you guys ever watched 14-year old mother (14 sai no haha)? It's a Japanese drama about a 14-year-old girl who gets pregnant and the troubles she deals with when she decides to keep it – its innocent and beautifully done and I cry like a lil bitch every time I watch it. This story was inspired by it.


	2. Purgatory

_In which Sakura grows a backbone_.

"Haruno Sakura"

Sakura could feel chills crawling down her spine. In fact, there wasn't a single part of her body or skin that wasn't alive and teetering on edge. Every part of her being screamed run, and every part of her mind cried that this man wasn't human, wasn't _normal_.

Every part of her very _soul_ trembled in fear for what was to come.

Pale purple eye balls with black rings sitting inside of each other, all drawing you in to their depth and plunging you in their darkness. Sakura could hardly control the shaking of her body. She had already explained to herself that anyone would have to either be insanely strong or simply insane to not feel fear in the presence of these lunatics and that she was entirely justified in feeling piss-your-pants scared. Possibly seventeen stages past that.

"Konan tells me you have healing capabilities" the deep, gravelly voice seemed to echo around the room and pinpoint on Sakura all at once. She sucked in a sharp hiss of breath as she fought against the trembling of her knees to keep herself upright under the weight of his gaze.

"Prove it"

Sakura's eyes went wide, realisation settling in. Surely they could not have abducted her for this reason alone? Medics were not such a rarity these days, not in these parts… or were they?

Granted they were in largely unexplored territory by Konoha's knowledge, from the predicament Sakura was in her village clearly had inadequate intel on the operations and governance of this area of land.

"B-but… I am just an apprentice" Sakura's voice shook terribly as she spoke and was so quiet she was afraid no one heard.

The orange-haired man who seemed to hold authority over everyone else – considering the rest of the gang were hanging around the room in complete silence as he spoke – raised an eyebrow at her in distaste, as if it weren't possible for his expression to hold any more disgust and disregard for her.

Green eyes flitted around the room haphazardly, desperately searching for some sign of salvation, some indication, something that would explain this to her.

Per chance, her eyes happened on the Uchiha standing in the far corner of the room, almost a shadow as compared to the rest languidly resting on various furniture with careless and uninterested expressions. Her eyes met his for a brief second, and she almost would have missed it had she not subconsciously been searching for it.

The slow, almost imperceptible shake of his head from left to right. Easily dismissed as an unconscious shifting of muscles.

The leader took one slow purposeful step towards her, and Sakura felt the ground tremble beneath her feet.

The realisation was intense and immediate, hitting Sakura with the force of a tonne of bricks then leaving her reeling with concussion. A choked gasped escaped her as she watched in pure fear as the leader began to approach.

"In that case, we have no use for you then-"

"I-I'm the apprentice of the godaime!" her voice still shook but held a tinge of firmness to it as her resolution began to solidify. "I-I'll prove it, is there someone that needs healing?"

If being a medic was what would keep Sakura alive then she would just have to roll with it, because it was about fucking time Sakura started fighting for her life in this place, short-lived though it may be.

The leader halted in his movement, glancing wordlessly left and then right.

Without even opening his mouth, the blonde Akatsuki member collapsed to the ground.

"Heal him"

Sakura's eyes went wide in horror as she heard the blonde yelp in pain, crumpled in a heap and clutching his leg as he cursed and swore to himself.

" _fuckfuck fucking fucking fuck"_

Almost as if drawn by an invisible string, Sakura trotted over, amazed at her own legs for still being able to move. She dropped beside his crumpled form and reached over to pull his hands away from his leg and treat him, but was rewarded with a backhanded slap which launched her fast across the room.

There was nothing but silence as Sakura's head hit the side of a couch from where her body skidded to a stop. Her line of vision levelled with the stone floor (lately of which she was becoming intimately familiar) and she contemplated just lying there, letting them treat her as useless and kill her.

And _this_ time Sakura did have those flashes of life pass before her eyes. Expect with her it was flashes of what was to be, what she could have _become_. Dreams and wishes she wanted to accomplish. She wanted to become a full medic, a chuunin, to succeed and make her parents proud, she wanted to see Naruto become hokage, watch Sasuke walk back through those gates, start a family, get married, fall in love.

She wanted to _live_.

And just like that, she rose like a puppet pulled upwards by strings and strode towards the leader guy. The fear was still there yes, but now she had a reason to face her fear.

Blood dripped down her forehead and into her eyes, she wiped it away before holding her wrists up to the man.

"I need chakara to heal"

Something very slight shifted in his expression, _almost_ as if he were impressed by her courage and comeback.

"Konan"

Wordlessly she strode over and grabbed Sakura's wrists, yanking them harshly as she pressed a thumb to the inner part of her wrist and slipped chakara in, jabbing harder than necessary. Sakura could feel the release of minimal amounts of chakara let into her system. She looked up in confusion, only to be faced with a harsh smirk.

"Should be enough for the _godaime's_ apprentice"

It wasn't. It really wasn't. Sakura had only been studying for half a year, she hardly had control of her chakara to heal herself fully let alone heal what looked to be a broken leg with minimal amounts of chakara.

But she had no choice. Snatching her hands back, she marched over to the hunched form and knelt beside him, reaching out and grabbing his legs. His arm swung out again but this time Sakura ducked, using the opportunity to wrap her hands around one broken shin. She squeezed hard and addressed the man.

"You need to stay still for me to heal you"

"Fuck you!" He hissed, reaching for her again, and Sakura a genin and fourteen years old was only _so_ fast. She closed her eyes and braced for impact.

When nothing came she carefully reopened her eyes, only to find the foot of one Uchiha planted firmly on the blonde's chest. The blonde went absolutely still, curses forming on his lips but dying out, something akin to fear supressed in his eyes.

Sakura nodded once almost to herself, and turned back to her patient. Her hands tenderly prodded along the leg and could feel the raised skin where the swelling had begun and the bone had wedged against the other.

She mapped out a plan in her head, logically diving the amounts of chakara she had between each move of the procedure. She would reduce the swelling first, move the bone, begin fusing it together, further reduce the swelling and inflammation, heal the surrounding muscle and tissue.

By the end Sakura was drenched in sweat. It was a long and tedious process, and the Uchiha had long since removed his foot and returned to his corner although her patient remained still. She wiped her forehead on her shoulder, blood and sweat smearing on her sleeve. Her chest heaved as she panted for breath, her body entirely exhausted and in pain, but she forced her eyes to remain open to complete her task.

Withdrawing her hands, she nodded once more to herself her head feeling markedly heavier than when she had started. She tried to stand to indicate she had completed but she had no strength to give to her legs.

"I finished" Her voice croaked with weariness and she could barely keep her eyes open "It's impossible to heal bone in one go otherwise you cause more damage than heal, but he should be able to use them while he heals naturally"

"Deidara stand" Sakura turned her head back to the blonde called Deidara, panic seeping through her system as she worried he wouldn't be able to stand, worried she hadn't done a proper job.

Her heart thudded in her ears as she watched him raise himself up and stand, tentatively placing his weight on the damaged leg.

"Un, hurts like fuck but it works"

Sakura sighed, all the air leaving her in a woosh as her body sagged in relief. She turned to look at the leader once more, a small element of medic-pride welling within her, but her exhausted body could take it no more and dropped to the ground out cold.

"Deidara take her to the cell" the hazy sound of the female filtered through.

"Er…"

An exasperated huff.

"Forget it, Uchiha"

* * *

The ground wasn't so cold when she met it this time.

It was only when she began to wake did she realise it was the bed she had been placed on this time and not the floor.

Not to mention instead of the moth-eaten blanket (more of an open hessian sack really) from before, there was an almost proper blanket covering her.

She shifted in place, slowly moving so she could raise into a standing position, the protests of her body rapidly growing more furious with each movement. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she remained upright for a moment, allowing the rush of blood to settle before tentatively rising to her feet.

Sore and swollen did not even begin to describe her body. Her hands were raw and red from where she had been continually forcing forth dregs of chakara and her shoulder and head were swollen from her she had been hit and landed.

Slowly she made her way to the further wall of the cell where in the very corner, just barely covered by a jutting piece of metal was a crude showerhead protruding from the wall. She reached up, muscles aching as she stretched, and turned the stiff knob on the tap. Ice cold water gushed forth and though it was a small comfort against the inflamed areas of her body, the force of the spray was brutal and punishing.

Stepping out after a brisk five minutes, Sakura searched around helplessly for something to dry herself with and settled upon the old blanket folded at the edge of the bed. After roughly drying herself off with the coarse material, she spread it out and began to drape it over the metal partition to dry. It was then she noticed her blurry reflection in the metal. Reaching up slowly she touched the tender part of her forehead only to confirm something foreign stuck there. Although the reflection was unclear, after touching along her forehead her suspicions were true.

It was a plaster. Someone had treated her head wound.

She would have been moved, might even had spent time pondering the obvious on who it was and then dissected their behaviour and motives, but as it was naked and bruised, the intense cold from the shower caused an unstoppable force of shivers upon Sakura and she could do nothing but hastily dress and dash for the little warmth of the bed.

She shivered and shifted restlessly for a while before exhaustion took precedence over her body and she feel into a deep slumber.

* * *

The sound of metal clattering lightly against the floor woke the young medic from her almost-dead sleep. The world came into focus just in time for her to watch the flap of black fabric against the bars as someone turned around to walk away.

"W-wait!"

Sakura scrambled up from the bed, rushing towards the bars and imprinting their mark on her face as the blankets tangled around her legs and flung her against them. She pressed her face between the bars, searching and focusing on the figure paused halfway down the hall.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if debating ignoring her cries (and brilliant flight towards the bars) before taking a step back and turning around fully, coming to a stop a meter or so away from the bars.

He remained silent, raising an eyebrow at her in question, his arms crossed against his chest as he leaned casually against the wall opposite the cell doors.

She grinned weekly, scratching her head in nervousness as she rattled her brain for why she had even called out to him. _What did she want from him?_

The answer came quickly when she shifted to pull her face back from between the bars and her foot tapped the edge of the food tray which had just been delivered to her cell.

"Er, thank you Uchiha-san" she began awkwardly but found herself unable to finish. There was more she wanted to say, but everything within her was so tired and incredibly out of her element, now that she was actually talking to a person (albeit a renowned criminal) after a week or more of solitude she was struggling to remember how to human.

The silence stretched and Sakura continued to wrack her brain, shifting awkwardly in place.

Eventually it was him that broke the silence.

"You would be of no use to us dead. Food is more a necessity than a mercy or a blessing"

"Ah, no I meant the book actually" She scratched her head awkwardly again "that was definitely a blessing"

The Uchiha tilted his head to the side, regarding the strange girl with curiosity.

"Are you not afraid?" The words were quiet almost, as if he had not intended to say them but could not hold them back either.

Sakura tilted her head up. Until then she had been focusing on the fold of his arms across his chest, the pattern of rock against his back, the firm line of his lips – but now she brought her eyes to meet his.

"I am" She whispered "Ridiculously so" a swishing as her hands slipped down the metal bars "But if I am going to die anyway, what is the point of being frozen with fear"

Sakura could have sworn she saw the beginnings of a trademark Uchiha smirk form before he schooled his features back to neutral.

"Why are they keeping me here?"

If the Uchiha noticed her use of "they" instead of the more inclusive "you" he made no indication of his awareness, he simply pursed his lips as he tilted his head in the direction of the door at the far end of the corridor.

"To heal" he sighed almost imperceptibly "They did not know you were the godaime's apprentice, it will be both your blessing and curse"

Sakura nodded in understanding. She was a more reliable medic because of her connections and yet her shelf-life in this place would be markedly shorter because of who she was important to.

"Has…has anyone come after me?" Her voice was hoarse as she whispered.

His gaze settled back on her and regarded her for a heavy moment, his eyebrows drawn very slightly and his lips tugged in a ghost of a frown. His mouth almost opened, lips barely parted as if words were ready to escape before a sigh came out. He pushed off the wall and turned around, striding towards the exit.

"Your food will grow cold"

A silent tear ran down her face as Sakura pressed her forehead against the bars, watching as the door at the far end opened, light spilling out before returning the dungeon to darkness.

Sakura sighed aloud, shoulders sagging as tears dripped to the floor. It was in her haze of misery that something clicked into place.

 _Grow cold_?

Sakura dropped to the ground in an instant, hands fumbling for the forgotten tray of food. The tears started anew as her fingers found the warmth of a large bowl of soup with bread on the side and a tall mug of tea.

The tears continued as she gulped the soup down, hardly tasting the first morsel of warm food in a long time. They had just about stopped by the time she reached for her tea, and she found previously unnoticed a small slender book tucked against the side of the tray.

The first smile in a long time found its way across Sakura's lips as she grabbed the copy of _The Wind in the Willows_ along with her mug of tea, wrapped herself in the blanket and curled up on the relative comfort of the bed.

* * *

A/N: Its totally my Beta's fault this is late. I swear I'll update sooner for the next one.

As a side note, a major element of this story is that not only is Sakura young but so is Itachi. My headcannon is that because of his age he is also inexperienced and prone to making mistakes or being swayed by his emotions. Its not so relevant now but more so for later.

Is there anything you guys are expecting to see in this?

Thank you for the kind reviews!


	3. Upgrade

Sakura was called to service again approximately 4 days later.

Approximately because Sakura had no idea what time it was.

This time she was forced to heal a poisoned knife wound to the tall blue guy. "Kisame" she later came to learn, was loud and brash, grunting at the pain whilst taking frequent gulps from a sake bottle but overall a good sport and nowhere near as pissy as the blonde had been.

And whilst it was less punishing this time, without the whole organisation watching her heal like a street performer, it was equally as exhausting as she was once more pushed to her limit by only being granted minimal chakara.

Kisame seated at what seemed to be their common dining table, was as tall as Sakura standing. The young medic was constantly moving as she did her best to remove the poison in the manner her master had only begun to teach her. She pulled bits and bubbles out, depositing them in a bowl on the table before repeating over until the poison was sufficiently removed and she began healing the wound.

"Oi Pinky, want some sake"

Sakura looked up with a start, not expecting to be addressed but aware there was no one else within range he could possibly be talking to. She hesitated, hands frozen in place as she thought of an answer.

"It's not poisoned. Not feeling too hot about that right now" gesturing to his wounded stomach he laughed throatily, taking another swig.

Sakura almost found herself smiling as she returned herself to work.

"It's not that, my chakara is already minimal, alcohol interferes with the system and I wouldn't be able to perform properly"

His booming laugh almost had Sakura jumping out of her skin, and she startled to such an extent she stumbled backwards and almost knocked the bowl off the table.

"Amen to that"

It took a moment of blood-thumping, heart-racing shock and then another of bewildered confusion before Sakura's face flooded deep red as the innuendo finally sunk in.

If anything, her embarrassment only caused him to laugh more. That was of course until he laughed too hard and the wound began to reopen at which point it morphed into a string of groaned curses.

Sakura quickly returned her hands to the wound, huffing in exasperation at having to expend more chakara of which she didn't have, to close the wound.

There was a shuffle as the blue giant reached over for something.

"Eat something at least"

Wiping her hands on a cloth, Sakura tentatively accepted the apple, bowing slightly. It was only when she bit into the apple and the surprise became apparent on her face did Kisame acknowledge it.

"Can't have you passing out again, you look pale as shit and I sure as hell ain't carrying you back" was all he said before he returned his full attention to his sake.

Sakura gratefully munched the chakara-infused apple, and returned to work, finishing her job with slightly more finesse than she would have initially intended.

This time when Sakura was escorted back to her cell, she was wide awake, and for the first time had enough chakara left to heal the bruises and lingering wounds on her body.

* * *

When food was delivered to her at some obscure time, the young medic was for once awake.

She even managed to approach the bars at a sedate pace and _not_ wedge her head between the bars.

It was the Uchiha this time. It seemed they had orchestrated some degree of a schedule. It was a pattern of the blonde (whom she thoroughly ignored), Kisame (with which she had brief conversation) and now it was back to the Uchiha whom she hadn't seen since she first struck up conversation with him.

She had almost been waiting for his turn. Though she trusted none of them, despite knowing his irrefutable background, for some reason it was the Uchiha she felt was the safest to talk to – or least consequential at least.

"What time is it"

He regarded her with a raised brow, turning to lean his back on the wall opposite just like the last time, arms crossed against his chest. She noticed for the first time he was in casual wear; his cloak was absent and he wore loose-fitting shinobi trousers and a tight-fitting black t-shirt. It was amazing how she hadn't noticed before, but he was surprisingly (well unsurprising for a ninja but for a criminal at least) well built.

"What will time do for you here Sakura" he responded, tone bored but eyes trained on her.

"Just, I have no idea how much time had passed since I've been here, I don't even know if it's night or day right now"

There was a silence, his gaze remained fixed on her and Sakura hesitated in what to say.

"Its… unsettling"

Another pause, longer this time.

"It is currently 8 in the evening; it has now been 14 days since your capture"

"Oh" Sakura sighed, a small breath of relief as the unsettling feeling of time disassociation diminished within her.

"I… I was thinking" Sakura began after a short pause. She met his gaze which clearly said 'why are you sharing this with me' but something compelled her to carry on. Surely if he wasn't interested he wouldn't stay.

"There must be some other reason I am being held here"

His eyebrow raised a fraction.

"You could catch any medic from major villages, any black-market doctor, in fact that would be a better choice because they wouldn't have a village chasing after them, but for some reason they want a skilled medic and one that is trained in healing shinobi" she paused to catch her breath before adding on "It's not for contingency either, they don't need an in-house medic when clearly they've lasted so long without…"

She finished, biting her lip and holding his gaze as she watched him process her thoughts. He was shocked, or appeared that way, if the imperceptible widening of his eyes and raising of his brows were any indication.

It was a while before he said anything.

"Not just a pretty face" he smirked.

In one stride, he crossed the distance between the far wall and the cell doors, bringing his face an inch away from hers. Sakura straightened instantly in surprise but forced herself not to pull back.

"However if I were you" his deep voice was a deathly whisper "I would keep your theories to yourself and agree to everything they say"

Sakura's eyes were wide as she listened to him, focused on his dark irises as his lips moved close to the bars.

"But… but if it's something detrimental to Konoha, then its better if… if I…" she trailed off, her voice trembling as she failed to voice the rest of her thoughts.

"Die?" He finished for her in a curt tone, before he pulled back a little so that he could level his gaze with hers "Sakura tell me, do you _want_ to live?"

Sakura had thought long and hard about it. She had so much time in this place she could do nothing _but_ think. A born villager of Konoha, and a kunochi most of her life, she was nothing but loyal to her village. The cardinal rule of being a shinobi was to live and die for your village. So why was her answer different? She hated herself for it, felt guilt claw at her heart and gut but nothing could deny her true desires.

"Yes" she replied without hesitation.

His lips lifted in a smirk and Sakura was almost taken aback by how young it made him look, she sometimes forgot the handsome man in front of her was only a mere 4-5 years older than her.

"Trust me" his voice was a whisper again, an almost bitter edge to it "No one will thank you for your gracious sacrifice for the village if you die here, no one will know what you went through."

He pulled back and Sakura searched his face for any hint of twisted evil pleasure, wanting to understand if he was trying to screw with her head or if he truly thought that way.

"People are fickle. They want a hero they can worship, a hero they can idolise and _see_. No one cares for sacrifices made in the dark"

His voice died out with the end of his sentence and Sakura caught a glimpse of darkness within his expression. He stepped back, turning away from her as he made move to leave.

" _Live_ Sakura. No one can take that right away from you"

And this time Sakura heard his unspoken words, his steps echoing around the corridor as he made his way towards the exit.

 _Don't die for guilt. Don't die for loyalty. Don't die for Konoha._

 _Die only trying to live._

* * *

A few days passed before she was summoned again and this time it wasn't for anything minor. This time her suspicions were confirmed.

She was flanked on either side by Akatsuki members with the woman leading the way. They were underground this time, not in the common room she was used to healing others in. The corridor was dark and chilly, and they walked for such a distance she was sure they must be in a separate portion of the seemingly massive complex.

It was of small comfort that she could feel the presence of the Uchiha bringing up the rear of their cavalry.

And she questioned herself for feeling that way as she blindly followed their lead through the corridor.

Why the sudden almost… _trust_ in the Uchiha?

Was Sakura finally going mad? Like if she truly thought about it, she knew Itachi was still a clan-killing murderer, and it hurt her to remember that he was the one who had inflicted such a vengeful, lonely life on Sasuke.

And yet…

And yet, he was the _helping_ her for some reason. In fact, he had from the very start. And weak as she was, she knew she had no choice _but_ trust him.

Was… was this a mistake?

She had no time to delve further into the thought because they had reached the end of the seemingly endless corridor.

The lady in front performed a number of seals and the wall of rock split in half and separated, allowing for them to enter.

The room they entered was wide and dark, she could hardly see with the dim candlelight flickering in the corner. As they made their way through the room she noticed the bright orange (her heart gave a little squeeze as it reminded her of Naruto) hair of the leader.

They stopped when they reached him and it was only when Konan move slightly aside did she notice the figure in the chair next to the leader.

He was pale and emaciated, dark red hair and same purple, ringed eyes.

"So this is the medic"

Sakura gasped, her breath catching in her throat and heart thudding loudly in her chest. Her mouth opened to inhale but no air would enter, and she began to think she was going to have a panic attack.

The man in the chair and the orange-haired leader, both mirrored each other perfectly when they spoke.

Sakura closed her eyes and her mouth, a hand grabbing her chest as she desperately tried to regain control of herself. She couldn't screw up here, she had to stay calm.

"Somehow I expected… more"

She was sure, had her eyes been open, both pairs of eyes would be pinning her to the ground with their condescending gaze.

"However, she has proven herself capable and her chakara signature is strong for her age"

As Sakura tried to calm herself with reason, she realised if the men in front of her were extensions of each other, then surely from the orange-haired guys perspective, he had to have seen her in action already.

Maybe it was a different feeling seeing it through someone else's eyes?

"Child" It took a moment for Sakura to recognise through the haze that she was being spoken to, and she managed to peel her eyes open just enough to face the woman.

"This will be your next healing job"

She turned her gaze to the man in the chair and watched as Konan walked around and opened the metal cage from around his arms and legs. It appeared part of a larger machine that was sitting behind them, but she reasoned he had probably come out for the sake of easier access.

Making pointed effort _not_ to meet the orange-haired duplicate whom she could feel in her periphery, but was strangely silent, she made her way over to the thin man whose limbs – now removed from the metal casing – were covered in bandages.

As Sakura reached out to touch one arm, the woman grabbed her wrist and squeezed painfully hard.

"Screw this up and you're _dead_ "

Sakura almost laughed in her face.

She was pretty sure she was dead already just for seeing this.

* * *

After the horribly disconcerting experience with what appeared to be the true leader, Sakura had come to a few realisations.

Realisations that had her up all night in her claustrophobic cell, unable to eat or sleep.

She was _dead_.

If Akatsuki had any possible vulnerability, she was pretty sure she had just witnessed it. There was no way they would let her live after this.

It would be stupid on their part, she reasoned, if they _did_ let her live.

Yep. She was dead. Deader than dead.

All she had to do was wait.

She glanced around the room, seriously considering any possible means to end her miserable existence before this madness could continue.

She hadn't even realised almost 2 days had passed in this dazed, disconnected manner until he had arrived.

"Sakura"

"Sakura"

" _Sakura_ " the deep voice was in her face and Sakura gasped as a hand grabbed the front of her tunic and pulled her upright from her prior position of curled up against the wall, on the floor.

Her limbs were jelly and tingled as blood flow returned. Her green eyes wide and blinking rapidly as the face came into focus.

Itachi was standing in front of her, his brows drawn in almost concern, and his hand fisted in her tunic as he held her upright, his other hand on her arm to keep her from falling.

"Why aren't you eating"

Sakura blinked a few more times as his words filtered through the haze in her mind.

"Why?" her voice cracked from disuse and if he weren't so close he wouldn't have heard it.

He let go of her tunic, starting to move a step back but putting a hand on either arm to keep her upright when she began to crumple.

"Why" She repeated.

"I am going to die anyway" her voice was hoarse and the tears began to stream down her face "they didn't even put a seal on me or anything"

A hand fisted in the front of his top and had Sakura a smidgen more sanity at that point, she probably would have lost it at the sheer madness of somehow being _this_ close to Uchiha Itachi and not being dead yet.

"They are _that_ sure that I am not going to leave this place"

His fingers tightened around her shoulders before he moved her bodily upwards, over to the bed and sat her down. He then reached over and grabbed the tray of food next to him (which was next to the previous, untouched tray).

"Sakura" his voice snapped her attention to his face as he knelt in front of her, his gaze level with hers "all you have to do right now is focus on _me_ "

Her eyes glazed and her brows furrowed, unable to meet the intensity she started to look away.

" _Focus. On. Me_ "

And so, she did. In that moment, the very focal point of her world, the very pinnacle of her existence, was none other than Uchiha Itachi. The sharp slant of his nose, the dark lashes framing striking eyes, the height of his cheekbones, the straight line of his lips, the black locks of hair trailing his shoulders, the lines under his eyes.

It grounded her. Somehow she found her way to reality and this man, this _criminal_ , was her GPS.

Something warm and metal prodded against her lips and instinctively she opened her mouth. Food was shovelled in and she allowed herself to be feed, her attention drawn so strongly to executing his command.

After a glass of water had been guided to her lips and made to be downed, Sakura began to feel reality settle around her. As if the nutrition her body lacked from food was bringing back to life her body and mind.

"Sakura" his gaze pierced through hers, the empty tray forgotten "what I am about to say, don't ever forget it"

He dropped his voice to a whisper, a hand touching her shoulder reassuringly.

"There is _always_ hope. Even when you think there isn't, there _is_ "

Emerald eyes glazed over, brimming with expectation and hope.

"I am not saying I will save you" his voice cut through her like ice "but, you must learn to _survive_ "

He stood up now. Despite being brutal with her, his words and attention had helped Sakura overcome a milestone in her life that, in any other circumstances, she would have taken her time growing and facing it.

Shock. Realisation. Fear. Panic. Pain. Hopelessness.

A large hand ruffled her hair and she heard his final string of words as he left, locking the cell doors behind him.

"Think of home"

A scraping as the door at the end of the corridor opened, light flooding in and enshrining his figure in an ethereal light.

" _It always helped me_ "

* * *

A/N: Itach is salty af. He doesn't regret sacrificing everything for his village but he feels bitter watching someone with potentially a life ahead of them ready to do the same.

Just to clarify Itachi is older than Sakura by 5 years, just to me the age is young. Also, when I said inexperienced I meant in terms of relationships, it was never clarified if Itachi had had relationships in his time in konoha/after that so I'm going on the assumption he never did because it was a hassle/weakness/waste of time. Also, I think he would be more emotional than 5 years later because Sakura is perhaps the first young person he has seen captured/gotten involved with since his leaving konoha and he feels partially responsible for it so he resonates more with her. I'd like to think the stoic Uchiha takes years to build and he has yet to kill of all his emotion, if this were a Sakura 16 , Itachi 21 fic he would be completely different.

Hope that clarified things, please bear in my this is fanfic so chars are all potentially doing things that would never happen in canon.


	4. Hope

It became a pattern of Itachi bringing Sakura her meals, occasionally interspersed with appearances of Kisame and almost never Deidara. She never questioned how it ended up that way, and he never explained.

She continued to provide healing services to the frail-bodied leader, during which it had quickly became apparent to her that what she was doing was all sorts of redundant. His limbs were emaciated from how often and how long he had been forcefully drawing chakara from them. It reminded her of what she had learnt about the sharingan. Continuous use was damaging but reversible – up until a certain point.

The leader of Akatsuki was teetering on that point. Given the nature of Akatsuki, she didn't think it was a good idea to say "Hey, I can heal you as much as possible but if you want to fully recover, you gotta stop the diabolic family business and take a nice long vacation"

Sakura almost laughed at the prospect of even saying half that sentence aloud.

They didn't often make conversation, and it was always Sakura that started it. Itachi always silently bought her meals and if Sakura hadn't managed to collapse out of exhaustion, she would more often than not strike up conversation about some inane topic.

"Do you like dango?"

If he was surprised, he didn't show it. In fact, he had stopped being surprised by her random questions somewhere around the point of "purple or black nail varnish?" – strange as it may be, her questions were rationale most of the time, considering she had no other interaction or stimulation aside from the ever-changing nail colour of the Akastuki members.

In all fairness, he reasoned, being locked in a cell for majority of the day would bring all sort of weird thoughts to the surface.

"I did"

"Did?" Her head tilted in question. At first she had shyly posed questions to him, as if expecting him to walk away at any moment, now she bounded up to the cell bars without hesitation, leaning against them comfortably, her bright inquisitive eyes trained on him.

"My mother used to make them"

"But…" Sakura added expecting him to continue

There was a pause as his eyes refocused on the girl in front of him.

"But she stopped" he whispered. Turning around and leaving wordlessly.

A heaviness settled in the pit of Sakura's stomach. Itachi was everything the rumours made him to be – cold, stoic, powerful, "emotionless" and yet. Yet, Sakura was starting to see a side that didn't match up at all. The cold was lack of attachment to the people around him, the stoic was because there was never anyone to open up to and the emotionless…

Anyone with eyes could hardly call the man emotionless.

His whispers always broke Sakura in strange ways. She heard unspoken lines lacing his words, and she wondered if she was imagining them.

"She stopped _because I killed her_ "

What Sakura was witnessing was beyond her understanding, beyond her experience, but not beyond her capacity.

Why did Sasuke deserve forgiveness, pardon, endless consideration when he deflected to join the enemy, when he harmed his own teammates and yet…

And yet _no one_ questioned Itachi.

 _Should_ they?

* * *

The second time Itachi stepped into her cell was when she was feeling down after a particularly gruelling healing session. She had been backhanded against the wall, and had had a hand twisted in the hair at her scalp because she had quietly requested a smidgen more chakara.

From inside his jacket he pulled out a thick notebook, deftly flicking through the pages till he found what he wanted.

"What is this"

Sakura wasn't surprised by his presence. Her eyes had silently followed him as he had opened, entered her cell, and took a seat on the ground in front of the bed she was curled upon.

What surprised her was the page he held up for her, patiently waiting for her answer.

She raised her head morosely from the bed, the small flicker of curiosity lessening the dull of pain in the side of her face enough for her to raise up and take a proper look at the book he was holding up.

"Pau D'Arco?" she whispered, instinctively responding but with a question to her tone.

Wordlessly he flickered to another page where another sketch of an herb lay, and pointed to it.

They went through page after page till she fell asleep. When she woke, the blankets had been gingerly tucked around her, and the bruise on her head healed.

At some point, she had stopped wondering if he actually cared about medicinal herbs and began _wanting_ for him to care about them. She had always loved teaching others new and exciting information she had learned, and Itachi by no means the enthusiastic student, would exhibit small, almost indecipherable signs of interest, of involvement in their conversation.

About medicinal herbs of all things.

And yet that became Sakura's everything, it was her anchor, her saviour. Whenever she lay awake and alone at night, she would pull out the notebook Itachi had left for her and begin sketching the intricate veins of leaves and writing the details of their effects – cooked, crushed, juiced.

They had filled three notebooks already. And slowly they stopped becoming a repository for medical knowledge, they almost became a diary. Sakura would note along the margins of the book random, fleeting thoughts that would come to her, memos to carry out an idea she would never get the chance to.

Itachi pretended not to see them.

" _I wonder if clouds taste like cotton candy_?"

" _Remember to tell Naruto about the new flavour at Ichiraku's, disgusting but he can find that out for himself_ "

" _Mums birthday is coming up. She's likes hibiscuses, or was it pansies?"_

" _Sunset from the hokage tower must be great… I wonder why I never thought to try it?_ "

With the comfort of a place to voice her thoughts and the feeling of a listening recipient (albeit an unresponsive one), Sakura's mind calmed and her heart steadied. She focused on getting through each day, taking them one step at a time and carrying out each task as perfectly and meticulously as possible.

And during the times she was alone, Sakura dreamed dreams she would never be able to carry out. Her dreams were part of a reality in which she was free of this cell, free of the Akatsuki. Thanked for her hard work and diligence and able to walk out without a glance back.

And sometimes she dreamed other dreams, dreams of a future where the Akatsuki didn't exist, was nothing more than a ghost of the past.

And though she would admit to no one, sometimes _he_ would appear in her dreams, a free man, a friend, a mentor, a senpai, sometimes even something _more_.

* * *

Sakura's days took a strange, but not unwanted, turn.

Suddenly after one healing session, she was gestured away with a dismissing hand. No one sidled up next to her ready to escort, just a simple shooing wave. She stood awkwardly for a few moments, looking around and trying to decipher the expression on the woman's face. When no further instruction came, or regard for her presence for that matter, she hesitantly left the room.

No one stopped her, and although she knew the route back to her cell off by heart this was the first time she was free to explore the compound without a presence looming behind her, edging her along.

She followed her usual route just in case she were intercepted but when her eyes caught sight of fresh food she found herself lingering in the kitchen. Her fingers trailed longingly across ripe apples, her eyes hungrily soaking up the sight of cooked meats and expensive cheese.

She snatched a grape, popping it in her mouth with a wary look around. With cheese hidden under her dress and an apple curled in the palm of her hand she scurried hastily back to her cell, a small smile on her face.

When the next day found her in a similar position with still no repercussion for her stolen fruits or lingering, Sakura allowed herself to relax just slightly, enjoying the taste of fruits as she quietly roamed around the kitchen/living area.

The open plan share space was spanned by glass windows and doors on one side of the room. Idly chewing on a peach Sakura carefully crept up towards them, peering out the glass doors.

In stark contrast to the warm glow of the living area, the massive green clearing was shrouded in a muted darkness, clouds filled with rain hanging low and tracks of mud marring the lush grass.

No doubt they were still in Rain. Not that it mattered anymore, because if no one had found her after this long they sure as hell wouldn't be finding her now.

A blur of movement distracted Sakura from the beauty of the outdoors which she had been deprived of for so long, and her eyes spotted the tall form of Itachi.

He moved silently, seamlessly, like a bird in air, a fish in water, katas strung together and executed as powerfully and seamlessly as a dance.

Sakura watched, awestruck, peach juice dripping down her fingers and wrist, as he moved flawlessly. She had never experienced such precision, such beauty, first hand.

It was like the first time she had witnessed the power of Kakashi using the sharingan – beautiful and terrifying all at once.

After his last set, Itachi pulled his hand across his forehead and down his neck, lifting the edge of his shirt upwards to wipe the sweat from his eyes.

Sakura found her eyes following the movement, unable to let go. His shirt rose and the mesh shirt he wore underneath clung to his body, stuck like a second skin, revealing toned abs and sharp hip bones. She swallowed thickly feeling the heat rising fast to her cheeks.

One hand reached up to slick back the hair sticking to his face and Sakura's heart was pounding in her chest. His eyes met hers, noticing her for what appeared to be the first time.

But she didn't have time to decipher his expression, Sakura's legs took her faster than she had run in days, heart in her throat as she reached her cell. It was only when she braced herself against the bars of her cell did she realise her hands were covered in peach juice with no peach itself present.

She sighed as she realised she must have left it on the counter next to the door.

 _Great, now he's going to think I was ogling him while having a snack like some kind of creepy live action film._

 _... which is exactly what I was doing._

Sakura smacked her forehead at her own stupidity before remembering the sticky peach juice. She moved over to her small sink, scrubbing her hands unthinkingly till her hands were red, constantly battling with herself to school her thoughts onto less dangerous pathways.

She was distracted for what felt like an eternity, but in reality couldn't have been that long, for Itachi walked into the corridor holding her tray of food.

Startling, she grabbed her makeshift towel, hastily drying her hands before nervously smoothing her hands across her hair and down over the wrinkles in her dress, feeling terribly like she had committed some awful sin when she knew she'd done nothing of the sort.

Itachi approached the cell, pushing aside the half open bars with his foot, tray in one hand.

He was wearing a clean shirt, different from his usual – _or was it?_ Did Sakura just notice now? – the black V-neck was low-cut and fitted, more casual than she had ever seen him.

When Sakura looked up at his face, her heart jumped to her throat when she spotted the trademark Uchiha smirk present, almost edging its way into a full-blown grin as his other hand rose to take a bite from the peach in his hand.

It couldn't be...

A peach which very suspiciously had another bite already taken out of it.

Sakura was sure there was no way it was the same one as hers if it hadn't been the last one on the counter and if there weren't barely-there nail marks in the skin of where she had been gripping on for dear life.

She swallowed thickly, knees buckling as she casually collapsed onto the edge bed as if she had intended to.

He said nothing as he placed the tray beside her on the bed, leaving her cell without a word.

She hardly ate that night for the butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach and her sleep was riddled with dreams of black hair, long muscular arms and dripping peaches.

* * *

A/N: Not so casual nod to Loophole, my entry drug into the fandom (which was first posted 13 years ago oh my LORD).

Its a (late) Valentines day miracle! Thanks to everyone for reviewing and reading.

 **Question to my readers: As a fair warning the story is gradually moving into more adult territory from here on out. I personally prefer not to have smut warning at the start of chapters because I appreciate the unexpectedness that it can give, however I know some people prefer to avoid or be prepared, therefore if you would like a warning at the start of the chapter including smut please speak now or forever hold your peace :D**


	5. Powerful

Sakura had been standing in the entryway to the kitchen for a good ten minutes deliberating the stupidity of what she was about to do.

On the one hand, she could be refused and make an absolute fool of herself.

On the other hand, she would probably never get a chance like this again...

Steeling herself, Sakura boldly walked into the kitchen, striding straight past the array of fresh fruit – which although she had her doubts, was starting to wonder if they were intended for her considering on all prior visits through this room it had been barren of such delights.

Her hand on the door knob, she hesitated momentarily before taking a deep breath and pushing the door open, promising to leave her cowardly self behind.

In all her deliberation, she had failed to spot the rain pouring down, and immediately felt stupid for not noticing something so obvious sooner.

Clearly he wouldn't be training out in the pouring rain.

Sakura sighed heavily. Relishing the feeling of rain, honest to goodness _rain_ , as it pelted down on her, soaking through her dress and settling in her shoes. How long had it been since she had felt the wind across her cheeks, rain seep through her hair, smelt the cool freshness of nature, breathed the cold clean air?

She breathed in and out once deeply, revelling in the feel but not wanting to get caught outside without a reason lest anyone think she was trying to escape. Her heels squeaked as she began to turn around, making a move towards the backdoors.

She glanced longingly back at the clearing one last time before she left and only then noticed a figure blurred by its stillness amidst the rain.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Itachi sat cross-legged in the middle of the clearing, eyes closed and hands on his knees, expression one of deep concentration.

Approaching softly, quietly, Sakura didn't even realise she was moving until she found herself standing in front of him, hypnotised by the trail of rain across his face, the water droplets under the curve of his eyes, falling from long lashes, along the length of his nose.

His eyes opened slowly and Sakura wondered briefly if Itachi ever needed to actually use the sharingan, or if he could simply get people to submit people through beauty alone?

His head tilted up towards her, silent and unquestioning.

But Sakura as always felt the need to bridge the gaps, to cover the silence enough for the both of them.

"I… Uh," she grasped for words, clawing at the backs of her mind for the reason she had come out in the first place "I was hoping to train," she finished hesitantly, question in her voice.

When nothing came, she continued to ramble senselessly, hoping one clause would hit the mark.

"By body is stiff from being cooped up all day, and it doesn't even need to involved chakra I just wanted to move a bit and…"

Sakura paused abruptly, eyes distracted by the exposed muscle of his arms, tensed from hands clenching his knees.

It seems his meditation hadn't been so meditative after all…

"Would you… train with me?" Sakura spoke the words as she thought them, knowing she shouldn't be asking this of him, knowing he was likely to deny her but unable to clamp down her desire for social interaction, terribly weak against her craving for his company.

He nodded once, shifting into a crouch as he rose his body up to stand. Sakura took a step back to allow him room, stunned at the mere prospect that he had interrupted his meditation for her, let alone had actually _agreed_ to train with her.

"I'm… I'm sorry I know I won't be much of a challenge…" she looked down self-consciously, her wet hair falling to frame her face.

Amidst the rain she didn't hear him move but felt the heat emanating from him as he reached out, pushing her hair back behind her ear before grasping her shoulder gently.

"Have more faith in yourself."

Sakura looked up in time to watch him pull back, awe plain on her features as she felt the strand of chakra seep through her body and flare to life; astounded by his ability to transfer chakra in the short time he had touched her.

Knowing she was fighting a losing battle anyway, Sakura lunged forward first, swinging a poorly aimed fist. He dodged easily, sidestepping out of her way but allowing her to continue her barrage of sloppy attacks, before one unexpectedly fast fist flew close towards his face and he was forced to intercept, fingers folding around the fist in his grasp.

What he hadn't anticipated was the chakra charged into the attack. All her previous moves were void of chakra, but with her intention to land a hit she had put chakra behind her punch, pushing against the hand Itachi had used to block with.

He smirked at her wit, grabbing the fist in his hand and pulling her bodily forward and to the side, allowing her to pitch towards the ground. But Sakura saved herself in time, regaining her balance by dropping into a roll and coming back up into a crouch, before quickly shooting out a roundhouse kick.

Itachi dodged in time, only for her to split the ground beneath him so he was unable to regain footing.

Itachi stumbled, jumping backwards in time to prevent himself falling.

Sakura was breathless and panting. Plainly exhausted from using her body after so long but a smile on her face from the adrenaline and exhilaration.

Itachi had barely broke a sweat. And yet he couldn't help but admire her resilience. Sakura was smart, she knew her strengths and pitfalls well and used them to her advantage.

And that was a skill Itachi had seen in _very few_ shinobi. Self-criticism was a shinobi's greatest tool if used wisely.

She knew she was weak, knew she couldn't keep up with him in taijutsu, knew he wasn't giving it his all. So, she took advantage of it, going for cheap shots, letting him think she was easy to evade, letting him feel her weakness only to undercut with her strength.

Itachi felt a pang of melancholy lance through him.

 _Such talent wasted…_

His pensive thoughts were interrupted by Sakura, recovered unexpectedly quick and flying towards him from beneath the ground.

He sidestepped out of her grasp but there was no need, for when Sakura emerged she collapsed back onto her knees right away, breathless and panting.

She looked up, hair a mess around her face, cheeks flushed from exhilaration and eyes wide and wild, a triumphant grin brightening her features.

 _Pretty._

"I can't believe I did it!" Sakura thumped her fist in victory "I've always seen Kakashi do it but I never knew how," she smiled to herself, wiping her muddy hands on her dress.

"What made you know now?" Itachi questioned, offering a hand to help her up.

Sakura smiled, grasping his hand without a second thought and allowing him to help her up.

"I just thought... no one is ever going to show me these things so I might as well just _try_ myself."

Brushing the rubble off her dress, Sakura raised her gaze to meet Itachi's.

"No one ever really taught me things, I always had to learn off others. To be honest, Tsunade was the first person to really acknowledge my existence, to give me a role within the team and even then she was so busy with her duties..."

There was a pause as Sakura scratched the back of her head awkwardly, suddenly very self-aware of the fact that Itachi probably really didn't give a shit.

"You need to mask your signature for at least ten seconds before you emerge," pointing towards the broken ground where Sakura had exited from, Itachi drew a vague circle with his hand, "otherwise this area warms the feet of the person standing there. Our feet have some of the most sensitive chakra sensors."

Sakura's eyes were wide as she watched him. Moved and emotional all at the same time. She shook her head, desperately trying to empty her brain so she could accept this precious knowledge he was sharing with her.

S-class, clan-killing 'murderer', but still a fucking _genius_.

"How- how do I mask?" Sakura asked hesitant to interrupt and ruin his giving mood, fearful of sounding stupid.

His lips quirked a little and Sakura felt herself flush red as her eyes caught the movement.

Wordlessly he walked towards her, one step after another into her personal space, Sakura's heart thundering in her chest all the while.

Strong, warm fingers griped her shoulders, her breath catching in her throat as she felt the warmth of another being against her back, her legs, her hair.

She wanted nothing more than to lean back into his arms.

Warm breath fluttered across her neck as he whispered in her ear.

" _Relax_."

Like the time she'd had a panic attack in her cell, Sakura had almost become conditioned to listen to his words, to obeying his command.

Eyes closing, she breathed in deeply and allowed all the tension to leave her body as she exhaled slowly, focusing her mind on nothing but the gentle press of long fingers on her shoulders.

The rain was a distant sensation even as it began to pick up, her body floating on a heavy cloud, her skin attuned to anticipating the touch of _him_.

"Feel the chakra leave your body." His fingers followed each word, giving life to their presence. "Feel it leave your head, through the ends of your hair," she felt gentle touches across the crown of her head, along the tips of her hair, down the outside of her arms, the curve of her back; and even though they didn't follow, she felt his fingers as they travelled further down, the soft intimacy in his deep voice filling in the unspoken, untouched gaps.

"Feel it across your calves, around your ankles and between your toes." Her eyes opened as she watched his arm curve around her, palm cupped in front of her face, filled with rainwater.

"Now feel its slip away, drain from you like water through your fingers."

She watched as the water seeped through his fingers, her chakra draining with it.

"Well done."

Sakura was silent, still, unmoving and unable to move. She knew this was the part she was supposed to respond, this was the indication that the lesson was over, but her heart wouldn't let her.

She didn't know what she was anchored into stillness more by: his genuine talent for teaching, or his sheer enrapturing presence.

Sakura was so _in love_ and she hadn't even realised it.

She didn't even know how to handle it. Didn't think she had felt anything this deep, this _powerful_ , been this captivated by another human being in her short fourteen-and-a-half years of living.

The love-struck teen was saved from having to attempt to formulate a response by Itachi suggesting they put into practice what she had learnt.

Once in the midst of taijutsu, distracted as she was by her thoughts, Sakura struggled to find the right moment to execute the requisite jutsu to move underground, let alone attempt to try her new technique of chakra concealing once there.

Itachi purposely left her plenty of openings but never slacked with the pace of taijutsu, instead gradually increasing the pace and driving her to a corner. Eventually when Sakura began to feel breathless, she shook her head of all distractions, channelled a quick spurt of chakra to her feet and stomped the ground, disappearing with its integrity.

She knew this was an illogical method to carry out the sequence leading to the jutsu, but being in such close proximity to Itachi – panting and sweating no less – made it harder and harder to focus and Sakura was a hairsbreadth away from being punted all the way back to Konoha.

Shattering the earth and diving beneath it made it incredibly obvious where she had moved to, but at least she had room to _think_ that way.

She remained perfectly still, becoming one with the earth. Taking deep breaths, she pulled from her recent memory Itachi's instructions and with it came the deep, calming but commanding tenor of his voice.

Bit by bit she relaxed to the low timbre of his voice, her chakra slipping away with it.

She counted to eleven just to be safe before emerging forcefully from the ground, fist pointed upwards in a true re-enactment of the superman pose.

Somehow she had managed to _almost_ surprise him. Having emerged from the exact spot she had entered was by no means smart from a tactical perspective, and that was exactly why it hadn't been expected. However, the exertion had been too much and she found herself plummeting from the short distance she had sprung into the air, back towards the broken ground.

With cat-like reflexes, Itachi recovered quickly, manoeuvring just in time to reach out and catch the falling mess of pink-hair and dirt, tumbling towards the ground together.

Sakura, dazed from the whole debacle, raised her head groggily only to feel as if a lead weight had been placed on it, and dropped right back down. Thankfully the ground wasn't hard when she met it, and after a few moments of grabbing and groping with her hands she realised with incredible shame, that her head was resting on the chest of Itachi, who was splayed out beneath her and _yes_ she had just been inadvertently fondling his chest.

Much to her increasing humiliation Sakura found she was simply unable to raise her head or body, weighed down as she was by her chakra exhaustion and associated fatigue. Her inability to move only making her more and more conscious of the fact that Itachi was _holding_ her.

He was silent despite his arms wrapped around her, his legs tangled with hers. Made no move to shove her off, despite the rain pelting down upon them.

For all the world, appearing as though he was perfectly contented to spend the rest of the evening out there…

Trying again, she braced her arms either side and tensed. Pushing power into leveraging herself upward. But it was all for naught, as along with the chakra all of her energy had left her body and she was completely and utterly powerless.

Hands slipping in the mud, her body dropped and her face hit Itachi's chest once more with a wet _smack_.

She felt more than heard, the small chuckle that escaped him.

She almost broke into a smile herself.

"I... uh..." Sakura cleared her throat awkwardly, not quite sure where to begin "I can't uh..."

Her body shifted as he moved below her and sat upright, bringing her with him. Seated in his lap, he wrapped his arms under her knees and across her back, scooping her up as he wordlessly raised into a standing position.

Drenched in rain, he walked back towards the compound with her curled form in his arms, unable to stop marvelling at how small and _warm_ she was.

He hadn't known the touch of another human in a long, long time and it was almost _addicting_.

* * *

When he reached her cell, he deposited her on the edge of the bed and instructed her to wait – _as if_ she was capable of doing anything _but_ waiting.

By the time he had returned with a clean set of clothes in hand, all she had managed to do was keel sideways from an upright sitting position to being curled-up on her side.

He chuckled lightly and Sakura dazedly thought she could get high on the sound alone, rare as it was.

"Shower," he instructed her, "the water is hot."

Before leaving the room, "I'll bring food."

By the time Itachi had returned, Sakura had showered, dried-off and was curled up in the bed, struggling desperately to keep her eyes open. She had pulled the long-sleeve top on without thinking, and only when she began rolling up the sleeves did it log somewhere in her tired brain, that it belonged to Itachi. She rolled draw-string pants, which would be cropped on him, at the ankles, tying the waist tight.

She couldn't help inhaling deeply the scent that clung to his clothes. Something about it registered on such a fundamental level in her soul, that despite the dismal cell she lay in, she felt nothing but unequivocal comfort and ease, almost like she was _home_.

When he stepped through the cell doors with a tray in hand Sakura had just begun to doze, his soft chuckle and the shifting of metal dragging her out from sleep. She smiled softly, struggling to sit-up. He sat on the edge of the bed, placing the tray in her lap, and Sakura reached for the spoon, but her arms were sore and tired, and she fumbled uselessly, dropping it in the soup with a loud plop.

Wordlessly, he reached over, fishing the spoon out. He loaded up the spoon after wiping the handle, before bringing it carefully to her lips. Sakura hesitated for all of one second and then opened her mouth obediently. Too tired to care, too _in love_ to not indulge in the feeling of being spoiled.

Itachi carried this out for the whole meal. Seemingly completely unbothered by feeding her, gentle and patient the whole time.

As he got up to leave, empty tray in hand, Sakura couldn't help reaching out and grabbing hold of the edge of his shirt, tugging lightly.

"I'm cold," she whispered, eyes downturned, cheeks glowing a delicious red.

He hesitated. Eyes shifting and glistening, a silent war between reason and want, before they set, a firmness solidified. He set the tray on the ground, slipping off his shoes before carefully climbing into the bed.

He lay still, simply a warm presence for a while. But Sakura was both freezing cold and beyond tired, so without waiting for preamble, she stretched out and curled against him, instinctively burying her face in his chest.

She was embarrassed as all hell, but warm and _safe_. Her eyes slipped close and a contented, " _mnnn_ " escaped her lips, and just like that she was asleep. Deep in slumber and dead to the world.

Itachi is as amazed by her as he is fascinated by her in equal parts. He finds that once the element of sharing a bed with someone when you normally sleep alone (with your back to the wall and almost _always_ one eye open) diminishes, and he becomes accustomed to her presence curled up against him, he wondered how he ever went without it. His fingers comb through her hair, stroking instinctively and he finds his eyes falling closed.

It'd been years since he'd slept so soundly.

* * *

A/N: Would you look at that, its a fucking **miracle**. Two posts within two weeks of each other, I'm scared for myself.

This unexpectedly became more romantic than I had intended?

I'm also desperately trying to remember the ACTUAL Naruto storyline to coordinate with the rest of the story, but its been so freaking long that I genuinely cannot recall basic shit like, if Sakura actually participated in the chuunin final fights or not? I'm pretty sure she didn't but its been a good seven (?!) years since I watched it.

Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing and providing your feedback r.e. the smut, much appreciated and I love your opinions on what you guys feel about the interactions and characterisation. I'm really trying hard to post the next chapter soon, because it was actually the first chapter I wrote and I've been waiting SO LONG to post it.


	6. Fire

_My head's under water_  
 _But I'm breathing fine_  
 _You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

"That will be all. Your services are no longer needed," the hoarse whisper bleed through the silence like gravel across steel.

Sakura's eyes were wide, her hands frozen in place hoovered over the arms of the leader, her mind racing as she tried to place her mistake, her misconduct.

"I... uh," she shook her head in confusion, in fear. "Did I do something wrong?" Her voice trembled.

"You did not. But my arms have returned their baseline motor function," he clenched and unclenched his hands carefully. "And though you have not spoken it, I know as well as you they will never return to full functionality."

Even though his terrifying purple eyes remained fixed on the slow movements of his emaciated fingers, Sakura felt as if his gaze was boring through her, piercing her with his all-seeing eyes.

"Leave." She winced as he used the very same hands she'd healed, for the first time, to gesture her away with a shooing motion.

 _No longer needed_.

The words echoed through her mind as she trudged back to her cell. The pieces slowly fitting together, the explanation behind why they'd allowed her to roam the kitchen, halls and garden; why she could leave her cell and no one would question her; why no one guarded her anymore. Why the only person who visited her was Itachi.

Because it no longer mattered what she saw or did, she was _no longer needed_.

She walked in a daze, her feet taking her to their destination through habit alone. She felt the reality slowly start to sink in as she advanced through the increasing levels of darkness towards her cell.

When she entered, so absorbed in her own thoughts, she startled to find Itachi sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her.

She hesitated, unsure of what to do with herself or how to interact with Itachi with this new knowledge at hand. After a few moments of quiet shuffling she settled beside him on the bed with a soft thump.

"Wh –" she swallowed thickly starting again. "When?"

He turned slowly towards her, his gaze rising to meet hers, unflinchingly.

"Tomorrow." His voice was not that of stern finality one would've expected from the Uchiha, but of quiet resignation.

The young teen nodded slowly, unsure of what to do with herself now that the sentence she knew had been waiting for her had finally arrived.

"What would you like to do?"

A bitter laugh escaped Sakura, green eyes glittering with dark, mirthless humor.

"What _can_ I do?"

He sighed under his breath, looking away from her and helplessly around the room, for something to occupy them. It was the first indication of unhappiness she'd seen from him and she was starting to wonder if this bothered him more than he let on.

Well, at least her death would mean something to _someone_.

"Talk. I want to talk." Sakura announced suddenly, clapping her hands with finality.

Aborting his mission of searching for an answer, he turned towards her, curious, with one brow raised questioningly.

"About?"

"Everything." Her eyes glazed over as she imagined all the things she had been curious about but was never able to learn the answer to. "All the secrets, that I can finally know."

"Finally?"

"A dead man tells no tales," she smiled chipper as she said it, far from what she was feeling.

He begrudgingly agreed and after a moment's thought to organise which questions she wanted to ask first, the young kunochi settled with the one which had been bothering her the most.

"Why did you save me?" Her voice was a whisper amidst the stillness of the cell, and Sakura found it hard to tear her gaze from the man besides her, wanting desperately to assess his expression first-hand.

"Sasuke." He answered simply, as if the name alone were explanation enough. His features gave nothing away, as if there was nothing more to give away.

"Sasuke?" Sakura repeated in confusion, her head titled to the side as she tried to understand the misplaced mention of the name.

"You reminded me of my otouto."

There was a pause so long and so heavy it was almost tangible in the air. Sakura's eyes went wide as suddenly it all clicked into place, suddenly it all made _sense_.

"You spared him," Sakura whispered, her words almost alarmingly loud amidst the silence.

"I subjected him to a lifetime of suffering," Itachi corrected, eyes downcast, bitter words escaping clenched teeth.

"You protected him," she corrected, voice taking on a firmer tone with confidence in her words, "Just like you protected me."

The scoff was unmistakable and he turned his head away, the darkness surrounding him almost suffocating, "and you suffered for it, did you not? Look where we are now."

In that moment Sakura saw Itachi for who and what he was. She had forgotten he was only nineteen, forgotten how young he was when he made his fatal decision. Sitting in front of her wasn't the famed Uchiha killer. It was a young, lonely man who in his self-deprecation and guilt was almost a boy who wanted to curl up in a ball and forget the horrors of this world, the horrors of his sins.

Sakura leaned forward, planting her hands on either side of his face and turned his head purposefully towards her, meeting his wide, surprised eyes with her resolved ones.

"Listen here Uchiha Itachi and listen well." His eyes met her with a hesitant reluctance. He didn't want to have this discussion with her – or anyone for that matter – but couldn't turn away from her imploring gaze, respecting her desire to be heard.

Sakura smiled, soft and gentle, the first easy smile in a long time.

"Not for a second do I regret any of _this,_ " she looked between him and herself pointedly before continuing, "you saved me that day and only because I lived, I saw a different side to the shinobi world." Konoha's abandonment of her and their negligence and failure to plan correctly for their team. The unspoken sacrifices Itachi clearly had had to make. The true heart of Akatsuki and their motives. Konoha was the paradigm of an ignorant infant in the face of the true going-ons of the shinobi world.

Swallowing thickly the young kunochi continued with finality to her tone, "Had none of this happened I would have been dumb to it all, probably would have survived till I was thirty, became a housewife with a kid and a shinobi husband who never came home, living in my innocent little bubble whilst people like you sacrificed in the shadows so we could survive, dumb and ignorant."

"And you would have been better for it, happier and carefree." His words were like acid as he imagined this seemingly ideal future he had deprived her of.

Sakura laughed mirthlessly, her fingers clenching gently around his face.

"Do you really think living dumb and ignorant is better?

I am a shinobi because I fight for justice, and true justice is a peace in which we all share together not one part of the world sacrificing whilst the rest of us relish in our peace. At least now I can look back satisfied that I had fought and earned my warrior's death."

"But you haven't experienced anything yet, you never had your family and your kids, you're losing so much before you have even the chance to attain it."

Sakura's words were sad as she spoke them softly, "but neither did _you._ "

He was silent as he looked away, freeing himself of her grasp and putting his head in his hands.

"You gave it all up too, you never had the chance to be selfish, to love and be loved in return, to build a family; you gave it all up for what? Was it worth it, will you look back and say, 'Yes, the sacrifice was a worthy one'?"

"Sakura," he cautioned. His voice strained and hoarse, raspy as if he couldn't handle this can of worms, as if jumping down this rabbit hole would tear him apart.

"Do you have any last wishes?"

Sakura smiled gently at the change of conversation but she allowed it, there was only so much time she had left and she did not want to leave the Uchiha in emotional turmoil with no one around to pick up the pieces.

Sakura tapped her chin thoughtfully as she looked around the room hoping for inspiration. Truthfully she already knew what she wanted but her young heart was far too embarrassed to truly admit it.

"Hmmm," she deliberated aloud, looking anywhere but his direction.

He seemed to notice her change in behaviour and he turned fully to watch her forced expression and pointed avoidance of looking in his direction. His gaze narrowed and his lips pressed in a firm line.

"You already have something in mind," he stated but Sakura merely shook her head in denial, still refusing to look in his direction.

"Tell me." He pressed but Sakura refused, instead choosing to occupy herself with picking at the corner of the tattered blanket.

Time was stretching thin and never one for waiting, Itachi leaned over and grabbed her hands in one of his own and forced her chin up to look at him.

"Tell me," he repeated this time with steel to his tone. Sakura looked away refusing to meet his gaze as a dark blush coloured her cheeks.

With her lower lip trapped between her teeth she met his gaze from beneath down-turned eyes, her voice barely a fragile whisper.

" _You_."

Itachi froze, his hand hovering an inch away from her chin as his grip went slack on her wrists. Sakura was a bright tomato shade but she refused to look away, facing his slightly open mouth and wide eyes without hesitation.

"It's something every girl wants to experience at least once."

 _Intimacy._

Itachi was silent and something in Sakura broke, that something, that small resistance and strength that had been building within her, building against the torture and inevitable end suddenly crumbled to pieces.

Tears began to silently roll down her face and Sakura struggled to speak.

"It's not just that," her voice cracked, but she swallowed hard forcing herself to go on, knowing she needed to get this out. "There's so much more I wanted, so many hopes and dreams and goals I wanted to achieve."

Itachi's expression saddened with her words and Sakura turned away finding it hard to face such raw emotion, such soul deep understanding and resonance to her words.

"I wanted," she struggled to speak, "I wanted to become a medic, I wanted to greet Naruto when he came home, I wanted to watch him become Hokage, I wanted to watch Sasuke walk back through those gates, I wanted to fight as team seven once again, I wanted to make them _proud,_ " her voice cracked on that last word but she soldiered on, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"I wanted to fall in love, I wanted to get married and have our own house, I… I wanted to become a _mother._ " Sakura dropped her head in her palms, doubling over as her body could no longer control the sobs that wracked her slight frame.

She raised her head, hot tears ceaselessly streaming down her face, her features in the most honest, rawest display of her true inner thoughts.

"But which of those can you give me?" she whispered. Sakura lifted one shaking hand to Itachi's cheek, touching it lightly as her tearful gaze bore into his.

"Don't offer something you don't have to give."

Her hand dropped and she abruptly stood up, harshly wiping her face with the back of her arm, a nervous laugh escaping her, "Most people don't even get the offer of a dying wish and here I am demanding."

She turned away, moving to pace the cell but a hand around her wrist stopped her short, kept her in place. She didn't turn around, she knew she couldn't face him then otherwise she would never be able to find control again, she remained silent and still as she waited for him to speak.

"You're fourteen." His voice was strained, wavering; but she remained silent. "I'm older than you by five years," he continued.

"I… I have never either. It would hurt," he reasoned, though his words were weak even to himself.

"Do you really want it like this?"

"Is there any other choice?" Her quiet words echoed around the cell and momentarily Itachi was teleported to a time when he himself had been handed an ultimatum, the choices he had made and wishes he would've fulfilled had he the chance.

And the one selfish desire he had given into before throwing everything away. Sasuke wasn't part of the plan, had never been. But he was only _human_ and had there been any other choice he would have done a million things differently, but there wasn't and there hadn't been, so he had hedged his bets and took his chances – for better or for worse.

When the young kunochi turned slowly to face him, emerald eyes sparkling in the dim light, lower lip trapped between her teeth, he couldn't help but see his past self within her; all the hopes and dreams he had given up on, all the wishes and desires he had thrown away. In that moment Itachi was resolved.

 _To be selfish one last time_.

He knew he would make this decision that he may later come to regret but only time would tell the consequences of his decision.

He tugged gently on her wrist and she stumbled towards him. She stood between his legs as he sat on the edge of the bed, her small frame almost overshadowed by his larger one, his hand still around her wrist.

"Are you sure?" his voice was firm as he tilted his face up towards hers so that they were mere inches apart.

She nodded, and then deciding it wasn't enough the words slipped from between her lips.

" _As I'll ever be._ "

He pressed his lips to hers gently and softly, the most chaste and pure scene amidst the dark, dirty, dismal state of the cell. She was shy, her lips trembling ever so slightly but she leaned further forward before he had chance to move away.

His hand came up to cup around her cheek, softly his fingers caressed along her cheekbone his lips slipping closer to hers. He tilted slightly, deepening the kiss and she fell closer towards him as she let her coyness slip away and indulged in the sensation.

His arm slipped around her slim waist bringing her closer against his body and it registered somewhere vaguely at the back of Sakura's mind just how warm he was, just how _man_ he is.

Lips pecked against the corner of her mouth, the edge of her jaw, softly beneath her ear and lightly against her pulse. A gasp escaped Sakura as the tip of his tongue touched the skin over her neck and instinctively she moved closer to him, her fingers twisting in the fabric over his shoulders. Almost as if by answer to her unspoken request, his lips drew back and his teeth closed over delicate skin, pressing just enough to bruise, just enough to draw pleasure.

A small cry escaped Sakura but she refused to let go, one hand twisting in the long hair at the base of his neck the other still grasping on to his shoulder like an anchor. Itachi continued, moving at the same tentative, languid pace, never rushing, silently requesting and patiently waiting for her unspoken answers.

His lips moved along her neck, his tongue sweeping across her collarbone, against the protrusions of her sternum whilst one hand deftly slipped open the collar buttons to her dress. He paused at the junction between her breasts, his chin resting on the threshold of her bra, he tilted upwards ever so slightly, assessing the current state of his partner.

Despite being conscious and aware of her every move, every breath throughout, it was only in the absolute stillness was he able to truly see her. Her eyes were squeezed closed almost as if she were afraid and yet her cheeks were pinker than the darkest strands of her hair, her small lips were parted as she panted softly and her whole entire body was angled as close to him as possible, her neck stretched to expose to him its entire length, her breasts tense as if anticipating his touch.

It struck Itachi then that Sakura was more than just a fourteen-year-old girl, Sakura was a _woman_.

Almost as if testing her, he moved so that their faces were close once again, his breath warm against her lips and paused. Still for a few breaths he made no movement, tense, waiting.

 _Anticipating_.

And then almost as if clockwork, her eyes opened and she looked down to see him gazing up at her, patiently waiting but a mere inch away and with absolutely no hesitation she pressed her lips to his.

This time there was a firmness, a surety and an undoubtable fiery passion. It was almost tangible in the air and in all its newness and her inexperience Sakura could hardly keep up. His lips moved against hers with such ferocity she felt her knees tremble with effort to keep her standing, and she would have fallen had he not had her so securely pressed against him, his arm an iron vice around her.

His tongue beckoned entrance and she breathlessly parted her lips without question, drowning in the sensation, the feeling of every nerve coming to life, blood rushing every which way in her body.

She was burning like she was on fire and hadn't a spare thought to care.

His fingers deftly flicked the front hook on her bra strap and she hardly noticed the difference till his lips closed around her nipple. The new, foreign sensation was overpowering and Sakura's mind was a muddled haze as she struggled to plant her feet in reality.

Electricity coursed through her body and it was only in the split second when Itachi pulled back his lips did Sakura realise the lewd moans echoing around the cell were her own. But she hadn't the time to even fathom where within herself such sounds came from for Itachi returned to his ministrations but this time it was his teeth which carefully closed around her nipple.

Sakura felt a trembling take over her body, the gushing fizzling feeling within her lower belly now an urgent rushing sensation, overtaking every other feeling as electricity danced through her veins her body shivering in sheer pleasure.

His hand which hand been massaging the back of her thigh for some time now took the opportunity of her orgasm-induced distraction to inch closer, his fingers grazing across the underside of her panties from beneath her skirt.

The second he touched her though it seemed as if she bolted upright, snapped out from her pleasure-induced haze she was suddenly very much aware. He felt the tension within her instantly, the coiling of her muscles and the straightening of her back.

His hand slipped away and his body moved back, detaching himself from her, giving her space.

But she grabbed on quick, firmly holding him close and preventing him from moving away.

"I… was just surprised that's all." Her voice was a trembling mess but she felt proud of herself for managing to even get a sentence out, "Maybe it would be better if I was closer."

Itachi was still as his keen eyes rove over her, assessing and deciding what would be the right thing to do. But he knew as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders in an attempt to bring herself closer to his unmoving form that it was already too late to go back now.

Wordlessly his hands gripped under her thighs and she yelped in surprise as he lifted her up and settled her upon his lap. Her arms instantly wound around his neck and his hands were firm against her hips to keep her in place.

Long fingers caressed her thighs gently, squeezing tenderly as he mercilessly tortured her neck with his sinful lips, drawing a hot trail from her ear to clavicle and back, before returning to assault her pink lips, leaving them swollen and abused.

He raised her up high so he could continue to trail kisses further down, trekking his lips across her breastbone, gently laving attention to peaked nipples before tracing the soft curves of her abdomen, leaving a glowing mark at each spot he stopped at.

She barely yelped as he hefted her higher over him, slipping backwards to lean onto his elbows and place her weight onto the bed. Her knees either side of his head, Sakura barely had time to comprehend what was happening before his lips were back on her, biting kisses along her inner thigh, hands gently kneading her ass. It registered somewhere vaguely at the back of her mind, the logical progression of his attentions, but it shocked her still, when she felt the hot, wetness of his tongue press against her clit. The cotton of her pants stuck to her and she was overcome with the desire to wrench them off, to feel him against her _directly_ that she wasn't sure if she had voiced the desire aloud for Itachi's fingers had deftly pried them aside before she had even opened her mouth.

Nails dug into Itachi's back, clawing deep even through the thin fabric of his shirt, as his tongue carefully entered her, lavishing attention between folds as she unravelled above him, sobbing his name in pleasure.

He retracted to gauge her expression as he replaced his tongue with a slowly inserted finger, pressing carefully as he entered, working her slowly open as he bit small kisses along her inner thigh and hip bones, sharp eyes trained on her. Sakura was unstable above him, overwrought with pleasure and panting breathlessly. He rose back up to allow her to settle back onto his lap and her face immediately pressed to his neck as she latched to his chest, hands circling around his back.

Panting against his neck, frustration overtook Sakura as she expected to feel the comforting warmth of his skin but was impeded by the fabric of his shirt, and immediately began scrambling to remove the item of clothing. Be it as it was, with his fingers inside of her, he couldn't exactly raise his hands over his head. A huff of laughter escaped Itachi at Sakura's impatience, and he briefly retracted from her in order to pull the top over his head and Sakura sighed in relief, whispering a quiet 'thanks' as she pressed her face against his chest, pecking small kisses along his collar bone as her small fingers explored his back, and across his ribs, roving down across hard, toned abs, the sharp ridge of hip bones, the trail of hair.

Sakura gasped when she felt it. Too lost was she in her own pleasure to remember that Itachi felt things too, that he was very much _man_.

She felt it pressed against her inner thigh, throbbing and hot. Blood pounding in her ears, Sakura threw away any remaining vestiges of shyness as her hand snaked between them, delicate fingers tracing down his stomach towards the bulge, almost as if feeling it would somehow make it real, would make him _wanting_ her real.

The aborted gasp that escaped him was like a fire ignited within her soul.

A sharp gasp which morphed into a deep groan as blunt nails ran blindly along the outline. Pressing gently and fumbling slightly as the teenage curiosity of what _it_ would feel like bleed through. But his deep groans were drawing out more of a side Sakura never knew existed and she found herself stretching her fingers more, roaming further down as he pulsed hot and hard even through the fabric.

" _Fuck._ "

Sakura gasped as he grabbed her wrist tightly, freezing her movement.

Viridian eyes wide in wonder raised to meet dark hooded ones, and although her heart had been thudding in her chest the whole time, she felt it squeeze agonizingly at the expression on Itachi's face. His brows were drawn tight, beautiful obsidian eyes cinched as if in pain, teeth gritted tight and cheeks a deep red glow.

He was fucking _adorable_.

His expression shifted and in that moment Sakura's whole body shuddered with the realization that this _man_ , from the look in his eyes alone, was going to absolutely _destroy_ her. In more ways than one.

The hand grasping her wrist yanked suddenly pulling her higher and slipping an arm under her bum to raise her up, her knees digging into the bed either side of him as his hand curved around her ass to reach between her thighs.

His thumb slipped inside her once more and a small squeal escaped her as she pressed her face into his neck, feeling her body flush all over. Subconsciously she leant forward more, pressing her forehead against his shoulder, and curving her back so her ass fit better into his hand.

She could almost hear his smirk at her embarrassment as he moved his finger gently inside her.

"Getting shy?"

She laughed, or the trembling, breathless equivalent of one, as the hand not gripping his shoulder, rubbed the front of his trousers once more.

"Bit late for that." She tried to be coy but failed miserably as he suddenly inserted another finger and moved them in a scissoring motion, the words coming out of her mouth more a cry than anything else.

She stretched up to better lean her weight on him, her head hanging over his shoulder, bubble-gum pink hair spilling down his back as she sweated and gasped with his fingers inside of her. Her lips mouthed at the back of his neck and behind his ear absently, biting down on the curve of his ear as she felt pleasure crawl through her.

So engrossed in the sensation she didn't even notice when he pulled himself out of his trousers, only when he shifted his position, leaning back slightly to handle her weight better as his fingers slipped out from inside her. He didn't miss the whine that escaped her as he retracted, but the repositioning of his hands promised her something different, something _better_ was coming.

Lifting her with one strong hand wrapped under her thigh, and positioning himself at her entrance with the other, he slowly, carefully brought her down. When the head pressed against her weeping slit, a soft keen escaped her, and the hesitation in Itachi started to surface just a little. He wanted to pull back and assess her features, but found her arms wrapped around his neck were gripping too tight for him to move.

"Sakura?" he questioned, voice more of a groan than speech.

"Its…" she panted softly in his ear, "Ok."

When he continued to hesitate, Sakura clenched her thighs, pressing her weight down against the hand holding her up.

" _Move_." She cried into his ear.

With that one word, he brought her slowly down upon himself, one hand steadying her weight, the other hand carefully gliding himself inside. She whimpered slightly as the head stretched her, but he had prepared her well and she left no room for him to retreat, glued to him as she was.

He hissed at how tight she was, allowing her weight to sink down incrementally, inch-by-inch. He was by no means small and didn't want to break her. He groaned as she hit the bottom, sheathed to the hilt. She sighed at the feeling of fullness, sore around the edges but thrumming in pleasure deep in the middle.

They were silent for a few minutes, panting and breathing heavy. Itachi waited patiently, allowing her to get used to the sensation of him filling her, body wound incredibly tight with the exertion of _holding back_.

He had never done this before but _fucking hell_ if it wasn't hard as sin to hold back. He didn't even know such desires existed within himself but wanted nothing more than to press her back into the bed and thrust ruthlessly into her as she unravelled beneath him.

Almost as if she read his mind, she broke the silence first.

"Do it." She whispered in his ear. When he did nothing, Sakura could see he was willing to let this end just but having entered her, technically having fulfilled the criteria.

"Just do it properly!" She cried pulling a hand through her hair in frustration as she pulled back and looked him in the face, expression stern, angry and _unfulfilled_.

" _Please,_ " she whimpered.

In under a second Sakura was on her back in the bed, Itachi on his knees in front of her as he lifted her hips to better position her and hooked her calves over his thighs. He drew out slowly, carefully as fingers dug into her thighs before pushing back in again.

He started slow, a series of gentle half thrusts, allowing her to get accustomed to it. Before eventually her lewd moans were too much, her body writhing beneath him as it demanded pleasure, demanded _release_.

Her nails clawed at his back as he keeled over her, back arched as his body covered hers, chest-to-chest, her legs around his back as he thrusted shallowly inside her.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as the fire burned within her body, her muscles thrumming all over with pain and pleasure. Her heart thudded in her chest as she felt him share in her pleasure, his entire presence making her feel _whole_ and fulfilled.

She tensed incredibly as she came hard, head a dizzying mess of stars as all the feeling left her body save for the overpowering tingling in her lower regions, and the feel of him unravelling within her, her orgasm drawing him over the edge.

He withdrew slowly, holding his body up long enough to retract before he collapsed onto his back besides her. Wordlessly he wrapped his arm around her still shuddering frame and pulled her to his side. She curled into a ball under the crook of his arm, her face burrowing against his ribs and her palm resting on his chest.

She could feel the rapid thumping of his heart beneath her palm, gradually steadying as his body calmed and he began to doze. Lulled by the rhythm of his heartbeat Sakura fell into slumber with a small smile on her lips and a single thought playing in her mind:

 _If death is the price to pay for this small slice of happiness, then so be it_.

* * *

A/N: Sakura is THIRSTY. Ya'll can argue with me about this being OTT and all that bullshit and admittedly it really is, esp considering this is fanfic and all, but just sayin if I had a dying wish at 14 it sure as hell would be losing my virginity :D

That being said this has probably been the hardest chapter for me to get out EVER. I can't describe it, but I have changed it so many times in so many ways that I can't bear to look at it anymore. Take it from these sinful hands! And please be kind :)

Thank you for all the support thus far, I know the direction and maturity of this story probably fits a slim audience but I'm happy to have you all along for the ride.

[Also please excuse any errors/inconsistencies, it's late as fuck and I have work tomorrow. I'll review in the morn and update as needed]


	7. Rise

_When the fire's at my feet again_

 _And the vultures all start circling_

 _They're whispering, you're out of time_

 _But still, I rise_

 _This is no mistake, no accident_

 _When you think the final nail is in, think again_

 _Don't be surprised, I will still_ _ **rise**_

Fate had landed Sakura in no-man's land, let her be the only one that survived an Akatsuki ambush, and the only one that had purpose being kept.

Fate was merciful and cruel all in the same vein.

It took her from her home, her family, her friends, her _security_. But it gave her comfort, confidence, company in return – it gave her _Itachi_.

But despite all that, after everything that had already happened to her, fate had an even crueller twist in mind for them.

With the dawn breaking in the large open clearing, all the members of Akatsuki had gathered bar the secret leader, and the orange haired man who was his stand-in stood ready to pass his judgment.

"Any last words?" Sakura had never been explicitly told this would be her judgement, that she was to be executed, until this moment of confirmation, handed to her as passively, as emotionlessly as asking her to pass the salt.

She almost laughed at the ridiculousness that her life had become.

Well, at least she could say she had lived it well. In the past month, she had laughed, learned and loved, and no matter how she tried she couldn't bring herself to regret it, to feel bitter about it.

She was _great_. For the first time in her life she truly felt great. Not a child living in the shadow of her teammates, not a love-struck teen chasing after someone who would never return her affections, not a naive, blind loyal solider that never knew the truth of what she was advocating.

She was strong, accomplished, mature and she was fucking _great_.

She smiled, meeting the leaders gaze without fear nor hesitation, because what was there left to fear at this point?

"Please leave my body in the forest near Konoha, I want to be buried near my family."

The leader sneered derisively, opening his mouth no doubt to contrive some pithy retort.

"I think that much is only fair considering the service I provided."

"I'll consider it."

She smiled again, pretty sure her body would be pitched into a boggy swamp at this rate.

With a smile still on her face she nodded once to herself and closed her eyes, not wishing for her last memory to be the ugly face of this cruel man.

But fate, fate was far crueller.

On a whim, the leader changed his mind. He slowly closed the palm he had held open, pointed towards her at the ready to deploy a finishing blast, and retracted his hand. His body shifting to move back from the foreground where he had been in prime position to deal his execution.

"For the service you have provided, we will offer one _mercy_."

Sakura's eyes cracked open, a heavy, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

" _Itachi_ will be the one to carry out your execution."

A choked gasp escaped Sakura, panic flooding her system. Her eyes darted over to Itachi who was still as stone, his eyes wide, jaw clenched, fists curled tightly at his sides; just as blind-sided as she was.

"W-why!?" She blurted out, panic clear in her voice.

The leader looked at her strangely, not quite able to connect the dots.

"Itachi is the only one with the sharingan, his method is the most merciful," he spoke the words as if speaking to a mentally unable patient, frustration evident at having to explain himself.

Sakura's heart thudded in her chest, a mirthless laugh escaping her. He truly thought he was being merciful, for whatever reason the man controlling this pseudo leader felt a sliver of guilt or responsibility and this was his idea of mercy.

When in actuality it was the greatest cruelty.

Sakura had initially thought they had discovered the relationship between Itachi and Sakura and this was his way of punishing them. But now, now Sakura could do nothing but nod and agree because if she did protest, they definitely would be discovered and that would make life in Akatsuki so much worse for Itachi.

Sakura nodded curtly, making one final decision not to make Itachi's life any harder.

"Ok."

Itachi's eyes were almost black, his eyes slits as he tried to reign in his emotion, his anger, his frustration. His movements were rigid as he disconnected from the line of Akatsuki members, walking slowly till he came to stand in front of her.

He stood still, staring at her unmoving, blocking Sakura's view of the rest of the crowd and leaving the image of only him in its place.

On the plus side, Sakura mused, _a pretty sight to go out on_.

"Please," Sakura mouthed, so only Itachi could see. Heart clenching at the almost repeat of their first encounter, "Do it."

Itachi's expression tightened further and there was a glean to his eyes. Sakura smiled brightly, honestly, blindingly, her whole-hearted desire to not make this kind, beautiful man suffer further, shining through.

His eyes bled to red, pin-wheels spinning, a single blooded tear rolling down his face.

" _Thank you."_

She whispered before the sword plunged through her chest.

But she neither saw nor felt it, her being transported to a beautiful world, where she walked through the doors of her house, child in her arms and clinging to her dress, her husband coming up behind her to place a loving kiss on her cheek.

* * *

They found her body twelve miles from Konoha, deep in the forest, propped carefully against a tree.

It was by chance that the ANBU squad has passed by her body, identifying her immediately and bringing her back. Almost as if they hadn't truly been looking for her.

It had been two weeks, seven days and thirty minutes since her discovery. Naruto had been summoned back from his journey immediately after her body had been discovered, because previously for his "interest" he hadn't been notified.

He had arrived breathless and weary, anxiety rooting deep in his heart and clawing its way out. He had snapped at the gates to Konoha, the silence of his master driving him insane. He demanded an answer, an explanation as to what was going on, why he had been brought back unexpectedly.

When he heard it, he ran. Ran faster than he ever had in his entire life. The world a blur as he desperately chased a path to that room. _Her_ room.

He made it, breathless and sweating, his heart pounding in his chest, as he reached with shaky hands for the door.

White sheets and white gowns, lilies on either side of her bed.

He collapsed on the ground beside her bed, hand clenched desperately around hers.

"S-sakura," he sobbed brokenly.

He wasn't supposed to be there, the nurses hovering outside the room, but Shizune held them back. Allowed the boy to have his peace, to have his grief.

The heavy sobs were broken by the sound of heels against the linoleum, and Naruto didn't look up until he felt a hand rest delicately on his shoulder, a soothing whisper near his ear.

"She's going to be okay Naruto."

Naruto head whipped up, eyes wide, carefully placing Sakura's hand back at her side as he stood.

"Fuck you." Tears streamed down his checks and his eyes glowed a dangerous shade of crimson.

Tsunade was taken aback. Expecting anger from Naruto but nothing like this.

His hand fisted around her shirt, slamming her against the wall.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" He roared, the demon inside him howling to be let out.

"There was no need, the situation was under control, she is stable."

"No need?" he hissed "NO NEED!"

He pulled her forward and thrust her towards the bed, "LOOK AT HER! HOW IS THIS ' _UNDER_ _CONTROL'?_ HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?"

He let go of her, pain visible in Tsunade's eyes but he couldn't bear to keep facing her. Swallowing thickly, he focused his gaze on his teammate's unconscious form, repeating his words once more.

" _How_ did this happen?"

"We don't–"

Naruto's voice was a deathly whisper, "You don't know?" His fists clenched and unclenched, " _How_ can you _not_ know?"

"Naruto we just found her body two weeks ago–"

"Two- Two weeks!?"

Tsunade started to speak but Naruto couldn't tolerate anymore.

"Leave." His voice was quiet but firm.

"Don't speak to your Hokage that way!" Jiraiya who had stepped into the room at some point reprimanded him.

"My _'Hokage'_ wouldn't have let this happen!"

Naruto left wordlessly, running high and far till he could feel his legs no more. He couldn't stand to be in that room any longer with Tsunade and Jiraiya – especially Jiraiya who had probably known all along and hadn't told him.

* * *

A few hours had passed of Naruto staring blankly as the sky changed from day to night, his stomach in knots as he thought of all the things that had happened while he was away.

 _It wasn't supposed to go like this..._

Naruto so focused on his distant introspection, didn't even notice the person walk up and sit down beside him.

"Yo."

"K-Kakashi-sensei," Naruto's voice was a hoarse whisper, broken from tears and anger.

But one look at Kakashi, one glance at his tired face and bloodshot eye, Naruto knew something wasn't right.

Swallowing thickly Naruto asked the question he least wanted to ask but desperately needed the answer to.

"Kakashi-sensei, what happened?"

Kakashi sighed, turning his face towards the stars as he pulled a hand through his hair tiredly.

"Fuck I don't even know." Naruto had never heard Kakashi curse before, but despite this what surprised him even more was how he had never heard Kakashi's voice so weary and broken.

"How long? How long has this been going on for?"

Kakashi sighed heavily as he replied.

"A month and a half."

A broken sob escaped Naruto.

"A month..." his voice tapered off into a whisper, new born anger burning in his chest, battling with concern for Sakura.

"How? When?" He begged desperately.

"She was on a recovery mission," Kakashi began, story ready as if he had told it a thousand times before, "they were retrieving herbs, she'd been training with Tsunade and those were the only missions she was allowed on."

"I thought those were low level? D rank or less?" Naruto questioned, confused.

"They are. Their destination was a deep forest south of Fire and they had been keeping good contact for their first week." He sighed again, a sign the story was taking a darker turn, "but on the second week when they were due to return... they _didn't._ "

"And then?"

"Then _nothing._ " Kakashi huffed exasperatedly. "She was gone for a month and her body turned up two weeks ago, a single knife wound in her chest."

"And that's it?"

" _That's it_ ," Kakashi hissed. "I have been searching and searching for her for weeks and weeks and _nothing._ "

He huffed in frustration, not willing to voice his true inner thoughts especially to the boy beside him, because he was far too young to understand, to have to deal with-

"Kakashi, what is it?" Naruto shuffled uneasily, a look of intense concentration furrowing his brows. "You've got that look on your face, like you're about to say, 'leave it to me children'."

Naruto grabbed Kakashi's arm, forcing him to look at him, ocean blue eyes glistening with conviction.

"Kakashi were not children anymore."

Kakashi sighed, despite Naruto's bold words, his baby face, stubbornness and age told him otherwise. However, he had to give credit where due, and just like he had, admittedly his rough and tumble team had been through their fair share and had matured differently from the rest. Well, Sakura had been the only one from a relatively peaceful background and upbringing, but he didn't know how much that mattered anymore...

"I think–" he cleared his throat, starting again with a firmer tone, "I _know_ , there was some wilful ignorance happening somewhere there."

"Wilful ignorance?"

"Yeah, somebody thought, it wasn't worth time and effort looking properly."

"What makes you so sure?"

"There rest of her team are still missing, two jounin and two more trained medics, no one has heard anything, no one has _said_ anything, where they are or what happened to them..."

Kakashi sighed heavily, a barely-there tremble lacing his words.

"Masumi-senpai was a friend and a great mentor, he was strong and ruthless in battle," his voice dropped to a whisper, almost as if he couldn't bear to heard the words as he spoke them, "He wasn't someone who would just _disappear_ ,"

"He had a family."

"When Sakura wakes up she will be able to answer _all_ of this..." Naruto made a fist, ready to pump with a renewed positivity

"Naruto," Kakashi's voice sounded strangled, "Did you ever think that she might not _want_ to answer all of this."

"What do you mean?" Naruto questioned, confused, hope still alight in his eyes.

"Even if she were the only one who survived, be it by mercy or fluke, she was gone for a month Naruto."

"A month," Naruto repeated, words not quite sinking in.

"A _month_. Imagine what her life was like during that month."

There was no more conversation after that. There couldn't be. It wasn't possible to talk about anything else that would allow life to proceed as normal, with the knowledge, with the mere thought of what Sakura had gone through.

* * *

Naruto stayed by her bedside like a watchful dog for the next week, snapping at anyone who came too close. Jiraiya and Tsunade came and went, both trying to appease some of Naruto's anger.

But for the first time Naruto's anger wasn't an all-encompassing rage. Mellowing in the face of Sakura's slumbering form, a quiet, powerful fury simmered beneath the surface, waiting, watching.

Kakashi has warned him explicitly, drilled it in his head not to reveal their conversations to anyone else, not to jeopardise Sakura's safety by taking matters into his own hands.

He allowed people to come and go as they pleased, responding to questions with the bare minimum of politeness, but subdued enough that his behaviour could be passed off as anger and concern for his friend. Stress at new situations.

But deep down he remained waiting, watching.

* * *

Sakura woke one crisp, foggy morning, the youthful dawn breaking outside the hospital windows. Her eyes instantly slid to the soft, billows of fog rolling around the city, visible from their height vantage.

Naruto had insisted the curtains remain open, remembering Sakura's love for rising with the sun: naturally, lazily.

She shifted slightly, body barely moving against the stiffness. A warmth in her palm seeped into her periphery, awareness of another's presence slipping in. Her eyes slid over to her left to land on the slumbering form of her teammate, his hand wrapped tightly around her own.

Her eyes roamed around the room, searching for cold, dark, grey brick but finding bright yellow lights, white walls and matching flooring, spotless tiles. She should have been comforted, would have, except the room, the environment, felt like a distant memory from a different life. She had changed so much, experienced so much during her capture that she struggled to re-orientate herself in the world she used to live in, but never lived in with such conscious presence as she had in that cell.

Is that all her life had been up until then, living a routine? Living a habit?

Perhaps that was where her lack of ambition stemmed from. She had been motivated and driven as a child, but growing as a teen alongside Naruto and Sasuke had taken a hit to her ego and she hadn't even realised it. Feeling like she would never supersede them no matter what she did, she eventually stopped truly trying, stopped wanting.

They became the focus. Their needs and their ambitions.

Kakashi mentoring Sasuke, Jiraiya taking on Naruto – It all made her feel like she had lost out. It was why she enjoyed training with Tsunade, it made her feel like she belonged again. But it was a fleeting feeling, because deep down she knew they would return and she would be back to her role as supporting character.

So what about now? What did she want now?

Her eyes returned to Naruto once more and she carefully raised her hand, slow as not to pull the drip out, and placed it gently atop Naruto's head, ruffling softly.

She and Naruto had never been close. They were bound by Sasuke. It had always seemed the other way round that Sasuke and Naruto were forced against their will with her in the middle making them get along but truly the dynamic was different. Naruto and Sasuke were drawn to each other like magnets and Sakura was merely present – wood in the company of iron and nickel.

"Naruto," she whispered.

Naruto's head whipped up with such speed the tubes almost ripped out of her hand.

"S-Sakura!" His head snapped to the right where she held her hand up at an awkward angle to prevent the tubes pulling, her face in a wince at the sudden, uncomfortable movement.

"Ah- sorry!" He fretted, retracting himself slowly and carefully pulling her hand back down to her side.

He never let it go once it was there.

"Sakura," he whispered, emotional intensity clouding his voice.

Naruto looked different. Cheekbones sharper, nose longer, eyes set in better against his face, hair longer. He was older now and she had forgotten how much time had already passed.

But there was something different, something new. Stress showing in the bags under his eyes, the hollowness of his cheeks, the torn skin of his lips.

"I-Uh," Sakura began. Wanting to speak but not quite knowing how.

 _Where to even begin..._

"Sakura," Naruto whispered again.

For the first time ever, he stood and leaned over. Hugging her gently, calmly; all traces of the boisterous, over-energetic child nowhere to been seen.

He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as he sat back down.

"I'm so glad you're okay," his smiled softly at her, cerulean eyes glassy and crinkling at the corners.

Sakura had to look away from the intensity of his eyes, tiredness seeping through her body.

"What happened?" Sakura questioned softly, almost as if she didn't really want to know.

Naruto laughed at the irony, leaving Sakura looking confused at him.

"We uh, wanted to ask _you_ that question."

"Me? I- Uh-"

Naruto smiled, patting her hand gently, Kakashi's words playing in the back of his mind about not pushing Sakura if she didn't want to remember.

"ANBU found you four miles south of Konoha, a uh-" he swallowed thickly, looking away, "a knife wound in your chest"

"Knife wound?" She asked warily.

"A long katana. It missed your heart by a mere point-five centimetres, pierced your pleural cavity but miraculously missed lung and aorta by point-three centimetres."

Sakura gaped, ears ringing as she focused hard on Naruto's words.

She was shocked by the medical jargon coming out of his mouth but more importantly she was shocked by the precision of what he was saying.

 _Zero-point-five centimetres!? Is that even possible!?_

It wasn't possible, only two things made such an unrealistic situation plausible – sheer dumb luck and perfect vision into the human body alongside some degree of medical knowledge.

The sharingan.

She had forgotten, amidst knowing him as a person, seeing him as a _human_ she had forgotten just how amazing of a shinobi he was.

Sakura nodded silently, almost to herself. And if Naruto was surprised at her lack of reaction, he for once didn't voice it.

"Sakura," his voice was pained as he stroked her hand, "How did you end up there?"

She closed her eyes briefly, allowing all her memories of that painful, life-changing month to filter through, rifling till she arrived at the first one.

"We were ambushed," her voice was hoarse, eyes open with horror as if she was experiencing it all over again.

"Ambushed? By who?"

"West of Rain. Clear land, safe zone. That's what we were told. We were so far apart from each other, uncaring in the empty lands, worn and breathless. I was gathering some herbs, Masumi-san at my side, when they found us."

"Who? Who found you?" Naruto questioned desperately.

A soft, raspy, whisper:

" _Akatsuki_."

He gasped, hand tightening around hers.

"S-Sakura" he whispered, distraught, not wanting to voice his next thoughts.

She looked away, turned her gaze towards the fog as she continued speaking.

"All of them. All of them were killed." Slow, tired tears rolled down her cheeks. "The rest I can't confirm, but Masumi-san died in my arms."

"And-" he swallowed thickly starting again, "And you?"

She almost laughed. "I was taken captive."

There were tears rolling down his cheeks now too, a low whine escaping him.

There were footsteps outside and suddenly Sakura became aware they were not alone, that it was not just them.

Suddenly Sakura became aware of the implications of what she had just said.

"Naruto!" She turned towards him suddenly, alarm present in her features, "Don't tell anyone what I just said, you can't no matter what," she pledged desperately, gripping onto his hand in silent plea.

"What why?!"

"Because there is a reason I am still alive. Why I'm not dead like everyone else is, like I was supposed to be."

Naruto nodded slowly, swallowing thickly. If it hadn't been for his conversations with Kakashi he would never have agreed, but seeing Sakura beg so desperately he could do nothing but oblige.

The footsteps quieted as the door to the room opened. The clack of Tsunade's heels, quiet as she entered.

"Ah Sakura, you're awake," she smiled warmly.

A worried look passed over her features as she took in the tear-stained faces of the two in the room, both hastily rubbing at reddened eyes.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" She questioned with concern, rushing to Sakura's side.

"I-uh- nothing," Sakura stammered, struggling to come up with a suitable lie with her head so abuzz.

"Just relief." Naruto smiled warmly at Sakura, as he squeezed her hand and Sakura had never seen Naruto pull such a convincing lie, reign such sudden tight control over his emotions.

Tsunade wasn't a hundred percent convinced but she turned her attention to more important matters. Checking Sakura's stats through the monitors, pulling out a torch and leaning over to check Sakura's pupils.

She stroked a hand gently through Sakura's soft, pink hair, smiling.

"Sakura I am so glad you are ok," she whispered.

Once she finished checking her stats she took a seat beside Sakura, reaching for her other hand, not occupied by Naruto.

"Sakura," she started gently, "Can you tell me what happened?"

Sakura had known this would be coming, closed her eyes as if she was thinking long and hard, but really hiding her eyes as not to give away her lie.

"I... can't remember..." she shook her head uneasily, almost as if trying gave her pain.

"Nothing? At all?"

Sakura shook her head sadly.

"From which point can you remember?"

She closed her eyes once more, furrowing her brows in deep concentration.

"Travelling the forest of Fire... sending a missive to Konoha... stopping in Rain? Or was it Cloud? I'm not sure," she grabbed her temple, almost as if it hurt to think, "Somewhere around then it's all black."

Tsunade nodded carefully, patting Sakura's hand in reassurance.

"No worries, I'm sure the ANBU squad will bring back information soon enough."

Tsunade turned to leave, going to update Sakura's records.

"Ah Shishou," Sakura stopped her from leaving, remembering something that would be odd for her not to question if she didn't know.

"My squad?" She questioned open-endedly, unable to deny the hope deep down that even one of them had returned alive.

Tsunade shook her head, a look of concern.

"I'm afraid we only found you."

Sakura nodded, wiping the corner of her eye. If she was supposed to play the part of more sorrow and surprise she didn't have the energy for it. Drained when she had only been awake for less than thirty minutes.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. A blur in which Naruto never left her side for even a minute. Even when her parents entered, amidst the emotional reunion, he lingered in the background, like a silent watchdog.

With few tests, Sakura was released and allowed to return home after one night's supervision. No one pressed the issue of Sakura's memory of the events and Tsunade recommended staying in a comfortable and familiar environment may help her memory.

She was released with a note to her parents to keep an eye on her.

It felt wrong almost, stepping back into her bedroom. Almost like she was intruding on someone else's life. All the small trinkets and fashionable items she had accrued over the years became lacklustre in the face of the reality she had experienced.

Her thoughts constantly danced from her time in that cell, to Itachi and what he was doing, to the people of Konoha and, did they know? About Itachi? About the Uchiha?

She constantly envisioned sneaking into the Hokage tower late at night, searching for ancient secret scrolls that had inscribed the truth of that night.

She stayed up nights thinking about it. She knew there was more to the story, knew Itachi wasn't the villain he was painted to be, he _couldn't_ be.

Even if, his helping her had been some form of atonement, some desire to turn over a new leaf, it didn't change the fact about Sasuke.

Sasuke was still alive.

Why?

Itachi had managed to kill a whole clan, surely someone so heartless would be able to just as easily kill his younger brother?

 _Why?_

But why had Itachi killed his clan in the first place? Had no one questioned that? Not once? It seemed absolutely unreasonable for no one to think it strange, that Itachi, by the legacy with which the elder generation spoke of him, an ideal student, an intelligent and caring older brother, a filial son, would suddenly just switch.

Sakura rolled onto her side, restless in the middle of the night. Her parents hadn't let her leave the house since she had returned home. It had only been three days and she was already going stir crazy, the house beginning to feel more like a coffin than the sanctuary it used to be.

Leaning over, she slid her window open, relishing the feel of cool air against her feverish skin. Slowly she clambered out the window, careful with her footing. It had been well over a month that she hadn't participated in any shinobi activities besides healing, and whilst her chakara control had improved exponentially, her body was tired and lethargic, muscles weakened from disuse.

Tiptoeing across the roof of the first floor in nothing but house slippers, Sakura made her descent towards solid ground, taking off running the second her feet hit the concrete.

She meandered her way to the place she knew best. Could reach with her eyes closed. Winding up at the foot of the Hokage tower without a clue of how to get up there.

She concentrated deeply, channelling chakara to her feet before taking one shaky step up the vertical incline.

Her calves began to burn halfway up and by the top she was struggling desperately to stay upright, her muscles trembling with the effort to keep moving.

 _Just a few more steps_.

Her feet anchored down another step, but slipped when she put weight into pulling her body forward, heart dropping as the fuse of chakara to wall dissipated.

A scream escaped her as her body slipped to slam face-first against the rock face, her fingers digging into the wall to hold her body to it. Desperately she drew forth whatever dregs of chakara she could find, pushing them into her fingers and toes to stick her body against the vertical incline.

She remained still, glued to the rockface and gasping, her body shivering in protest, no way to go up or down.

 _Just a few more inches…_

Her grip was beginning to slip when she felt a strong, warm hand wrap around her wrist. Hauling her bodily up and over the edge of the cliff.

She collapsed once on flat ground, hunched over and gasping for breath as her limbs tingled something fierce.

"Sakura." The deep voice beside her, laced with concern, made her heart stop in her chest. She froze turning slowly to the figure besides her.

 _It couldn't be…_

Kakashi's face came into view, his hand on her shoulder, worry etched into his features.

 _It wasn't._

Had Kakashi-sensei always looked this… old? He had come to visit briefly on the day she had woken-up, but had left promptly as not to disturb her further.

Sakura hadn't thought much into it. Used to not being the centre of attention, the centre of concern.

What she hadn't expected was for Kakashi to lean over and pull her into a tight hug, hand stroking her hair gently.

"Sakura I am _so sorry,_ " he whispered near her ear as Sakura tentatively returned the hug.

"Sensei," Kakashi pulled away so he could see her face, "Why are you sorry? If anything, I should be thanking you, you just saved me."

Kakashi laughed softly, but it was devoid of any real humour. "Not for that – but we'll get to that in a minute – I'm sorry for not being able to… to rescue you."

Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, hope and disbelief making them shine in the night, "You… you tried to rescue me?"

Kakashi looked stunned, not sure which to lean more towards – confusion or the implication of her reaction.

"Of course I tried, you're my precious student."

The tone with which he spoke, without hesitation as if what he was saying was a guaranteed fact and not a possibility, was the straw which broke the proverbial camel's back.

Tears poured from Sakura's eyes in a torrent as she launched herself at her teacher, toppling them both over and ending up half in his lap as she hugged him tightly around his waist.

He didn't know which to question first, the fact that what he was saying was what made her cry or that Sakura who had shown such muted emotional reaction to everything (as compared to before) since waking up in the hospital, was now suddenly sobbing in his arms.

"Sakura," his voice broke slightly, as his mind latched onto a thread of explanation, "Sakura why are you surprised by that?" his heart thudded in his chest as he rubbed her back soothingly, he knew what she was going to say, could _feel_ it, but he wholeheartedly wished he didn't have to hear it.

" _Because I thought no one would ever come._ "

"Sakura," his voice was strangled as he hugged her tighter. He had been right, she _did_ remember.

"Sakura, I am so sorry," she sobbed harder, "For whatever you have had to go through, I am so incredibly sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't find you, I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

Sakura shook her head from where it was, pressed against the front of his flack vest.

"You wouldn't have been able to," she whispered, withdrawing from his embrace as she rubbed at her face with the backs of her hands and the edge of her t-shirt.

"Who…?" He didn't want to ask but there were very few that Sakura could potentially believe that neither himself nor Konoha as a whole, would be unable to take on.

"I… I can't."

"Why can't you?"

When Sakura looked up at him, with wide, tear-glazed eyes, Kakashi saw something different there. This was no longer the innocent, inquisitive gaze of his young student, this was the gaze of a shinobi that had faced battle, that had seen some shit.

"Because… I think I was saved." Sakura's heart thudded in her chest as she voiced what she had been holding in for so long, "I _know_ I was saved. But the rest of them don't know it, and if they knew…"

"They would kill the one that saved you," he finished for her, deducing from her cryptic sentences her intended meaning

She nodded silently.

Kakashi took a moment to process all this. Much of which he had already suspected but had hoped upon hope wouldn't be true.

"The squad…" he questioned open-endedly.

"Masumi-san," she took a deep breath, "Masumi-senpai died protecting me, I wanted to tell someone, to tell his family but I was too afraid… if anyone knew he'd died _they_ would know I was alive."

Kakashi's hands clenched into fists, his heart thudding in his chest. He nodded once, patting Sakura on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, I'll sort it out." He smiled weakly.

"Sakura for now, you just need to recover and lay low, I'll sort all the politics out so you don't get put back on active roster for now."

"But, I'll go mad if I have to stay at home all the time, it's too much like…" She trailed off, shaking her head.

Kakashi nodded in understanding.

"Don't worry, we'll sort something out so you can at least have a few shifts helping in the hospital." He scratched his chin thinking deeply "Maybe dye your hair and get a normal job, like helping the Yamanaka."

"And Sakura," he continued, fixing her with a serious stare, "If you ever want to have another night time expedition like this, just call me or Naruto, knock on our doors no matter the time, just never by yourself."

"Yes Sensei." She nodded and Kakashi's eye crinkled as he smiled, Sakura had always been his least problematic student.

Kakashi stood, helping Sakura to her feet, and holding onto her arm to keep her shaky form upright. Slowly they walked the stairwell route descending the tower together, making idle chatter including any and all updates on the happenings while Sakura had been away.

She could tell that Kakashi's was forcing himself to make small talk just to put her at ease, but she couldn't complain because it was definitely working.

When they reached Sakura's house, Kakashi insisted on carrying her up the jump to the first-floor roof, depositing her carefully outside her window and watching like a hawk as she clambered back in. She turned to face her sensei still perched outside her window.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Kakashi was grateful for the small hint of a smile, that was reminiscent of the old Sakura.

"Sakura, if you ever want to talk about what happened, or if you ever _need_ to talk about what happened, I am always here for you, and I promise to help you no matter the detriment."

His unspoken words seemed to say, ' _no matter the detriment to anyone, including Konoha_ '.

Sakura nodded stiffly, filling his words away for later analysis as she slid her window pane shut.

That night, for the first in a long few days, Sakura was able to slip into a comfortable sleep, dreaming of children and houses, and a husband that kissed her softly on her cheek as his arms encircled her waist.

* * *

A/N: *Quietly drops a new chapter after half a year and runs away*

Thank you for your patience and amazing reviews guys! I think if not for that I would never finish this story. I have big ideas but little time, adulting is just **hard**.

(I also really need to start writing shorter chapters, because they're just a bitch to edit, esp on this site and how it keeps removing all my damn line breaks!)


	8. Want

" _Sakura."_

She felt the soft whisper against her lips as his forehead pressed against hers. Sakura's eyes opened slowly, almost as if she had been focusing on something else, some other train of thought that had led her astray and his voice was now pulling her back, bringing her to him.

As her eyes focused on dark, grey irises which watched her with an inexplicable intensity, Sakura could feel her soul rise from deep within her, woken to his call and drawn to the surface as he drank her in.

"Sakura," he spoke again, his voice deeper, darker and rougher around the edges. She recognised his tone instantly, arching her body up to meet his as if his voice were command alone and she could do nothing but answer. A lowly pilgrim devoted to the beck and call of a higher being.

Warm, wet lips pressed against her temple, across her cheekbones and down her neck, leaving a bruising trail in their wake. She stretched up to grab for his lips, a desperate need within her to feel them against her own, but somehow, he was just out of her reach.

He moved down, tongue sweeping gently against her stomach, dipping in her belly button. Her legs squirmed beneath him, fighting against the rush of sensations building within her. But it was futile. His hands reached down and tore her legs apart, roughly dragging his tongue down the inside of her thigh and Sakura could do nothing but cry out hoarsely, nails raking trails of blood across his back.

Between cries of pleasure she caught a glimpse of his hunched form over her, his face obscured by curtains of inky hair and his muscular frame tense and breathtaking as moved over her. She reached out to touch his hair, revelling in the smooth, soft feel and he rose up to her touch, his eyes meeting hers and there it was again.

That _look_ in his eyes.

Sakura caught a glance at the front of his trousers and could already see them stretching from within, knew instantly what it meant and wouldn't have it any other way. She leaned back, small hands around his face as she guided him over her. He smiled gently at her and suddenly there were tears running down Sakura's cheeks and she didn't know how or why.

"Sakura." He whispered her name like a sacred oath. Like a gospel truth only to be spoken in the holiest of presences. Like a dying man's last words.

He arched over her, wrapping her thigh firmly around his waist as he pulled back to guide himself in. And in one heart-throbbing moment, she felt him surge forward and Sakura gasped as she braced herself for the onslaught.

But she hadn't braced herself enough. Not for the sword that went plunging through his chest, spraying her in a waterfall of his blood.

"Itachi!" Sakura tried to call out but choked on the blood that had poured into her mouth. She reached up grabbing out for him, but her hands closed around nothing.

The scream that tore through Sakura was silent for the hoarseness of her voice as she wrenched upright in bed, her heart pounding wildly in her chest as her hands shot out grabbing desperately for the body hunched over her but clutching at nothing but air.

Her skin was wet and sticky, and she looked down in horror to see blood on her hands. It did little to reassure her when she realised belatedly it was her own sweat, for all she could see was crimson.

Sakura flew out of her bed in such a hurry she pulled half of her covers with her as she flung herself into her en suite bathroom and onto her toilet, her stomach heaving mercilessly.

Her stomach empty, Sakura leaned back against her bathtub, her whole body wracked by shivers as powerful nausea washed through her. Reaching over, she grabbed one of her blankets which had tangled in her legs in her launch towards the toilet and wrapped it around herself with shaky fingers.

Resting her throbbing head against the cool tiles of her wall, the young teen closed her eyes and breathed in deeply through her mouth, her breath condensing against the wall. Through deep breaths she tried to settle her mind on simpler thoughts, safer, happier memories, but it seemed her memories didn't have enough weight in this new chapter of her life she had unwittingly stepped into, and nothing she did could soothe her nerves.

Opening her eyes to the dim light of her bathroom, Sakura realised that in the darkness, the room seemed a lot similar to her cell, and her position on the floor even more so. And she tried, bless her soul, she really, truly tried _not_ to think of Itachi. But it was like the harder she tried, the harder it was to avoid. And she wanted nothing more than to walk away from the world of nightmares she had just seen Itachi in, but when she remembered him, and she remembered the dream, she couldn't help remembering the dull ache deep within her chest which was reminiscing the feeling of his presence, his touch, his embrace.

Tears rolled down her cheeks and the young girl found she couldn't bring herself to return to her bed, too afraid that its sweet embrace would bring more darkness. So, she remained curled in the corner of her bathroom, wrapped in her blanket and breathing in memories which she hadn't realised till now meant so much to her.

oOo

The relationship between Ino and Sakura had shifted.

Sakura had been told Ino had visited her during her stay in hospital, but she hadn't been conscious for it. When Sakura had walked into the Yamanaka's two days after her conversation with Kakashi, Ino had been so shocked she dropped the bouquet she had been holding and ran across the room, engulfing Sakura in a hug.

When they sat down to talk, over a cup of soothing tea, Sakura pinpointed the exact moment everything changed.

"I heard you can't remember anything…"

"Yeah, Tsunade-sama told me staying home would help me recover my memories, but I'm going stir crazy at home."

Ino nodded solemnly, remembering Sakura's overbearing parents.

"Kakashi said it might help getting a normal job, so I thought I'd try…"

"You mean work here?"

"Yeah, if that's okay?" Sakura finished hesitantly.

"Of course! Of course! That would be great!" Ino was quick to reassure and Sakura couldn't help smiling at her friend's familiar reaction.

But Ino noticed something different in that smile, and she reached across the table and grabbed Sakura's hand.

"Listen Sakura," She began with a seriousness with which Sakura had never seen from her, "I am so glad you are okay, and I have no idea what happened, no one really does, but if you _ever ever_ , need someone to talk to, or I don't know do something crazy with to blow of steam, I'm here for you."

Sakura nodded once, smiling politely, but for Ino it wasn't enough, and she yanked Sakura's hand closer, wrapping both of her hands around hers.

"Sakura, I _mean it_. From the bottom of my heart. I cannot even begin to imagine what you went through, and I know the higher ups were all being weird and secretive about it, but whatever happens and whatever it is, I will always be a friend here for you."

And there, that exact moment, Sakura realised, was where all those years of competition and fighting over crushes ended. There was where Sakura found an ally.

"Thank you." Sakura whispered and reached over, pulling her friend into a tight hug.

oOo

The smell of irises had always appealed to Sakura, therefore working amongst them and other varieties of flowers didn't seem so bad after all.

Working as a florist was different but new. And Sakura was beginning to think she might have a knack for it. Working amongst nature was refreshing and it helped ground Sakura's tumultuous mind, helped her feel free when she had felt caged for so long – first the cell and now her parents' home.

Sakura inhaled deeply a bunch of roses she was arranging, loving the sweet cloying smell, but for some reason the floral scent began to make her head swim. She put the flowers carefully down on the counter, her arms tingling and her hearing phasing out around her.

Sakura recognised the signs immediately and dropped to the ground in a seated position staring to move her head between her knees, but the floor caught up to her much faster.

She awoke wrapped in the duvet of Ino's bed. She hadn't even registered passing out.

The door opened as Ino entered, holding a glass of water in her hand.

"Sakura!" She cried, rushing over, "Are you ok? How do you feel?"

"Just a little light-headed," Sakura smiled, gratefully sipping the water.

"Do you remember what happened?"

 _Oh boy, this again…_

"Yeah I felt a little faint, so I sat on the floor."

"My mum found you on the floor in a weird position, it could be because you sat down, but she was panicking that you had hit your head or something,"

"I recognised it was coming, but I didn't think I would actually…"

"Do you know what caused it?"

Sakura shook her head in the negative, thinking back.

"All I remember is smelling the roses before the world started to blur."

"Maybe you should stop by the doctors on the way home, I'll walk with you."

Ino walked Sakura home once she felt stable enough to walk around, and Sakura was grateful for the presence. After managing to convince Ino that she was fine enough not to visit the doctors _just_ yet and that she would definitely go in the morning, she was happy to walk alongside her friend and simply make idle small talk of which she had been deprived off for so long.

But deep-down Sakura was panicking, first the night-sickness and now this. Something wasn't right within her and it scared her to think there may be long lasting damage from her chest wound. That she may have an infection and that would mean more time in the hospital and more time under observation.

And after the past week Sakura had decided she most definitely could not stand being under observation.

oOo

Sakura had expected to some degree the ostracization that being "kidnapped" and returned, founded. On top of all that working in the hospital amongst the students and her former colleagues, but now with darkened hair and the rumour that she was no longer allowed to return to active duty, only made matters worse.

"Post traumatic disorder", as Kakashi had put it to Tsunade, laying his judgement as her sensei on the table. Expressing his explicit desire for her not to return to combat any time soon, and should she return, it would not be under his wing.

Tsunade had put up little fight, but had asked for Sakura to come see her in the tower and discuss her own feelings on the matter.

Sakura never showed up. Too afraid of Tsunade's perceptive eyes.

Despite this, Kakashi had kept true to his promise and had arranged for Sakura to continue her schedule as a healthcare assistant within the hospital.

Three Days Yamanaka's, two days Hospital. It was a comfortable, busy schedule that Sakura was more than happy with.

Happy until a squad returned from a dangerous mission, all in desperate need of surgery. Sakura ran after the bodies being wheeled into surgery, holding up the drip bag as the other medics prepped the body, removed armour, staunched bleeding.

Sakura watched as the door closed to the operating theatre. The only one remaining in the empty corridor. She glanced down at her sleeves drenched in blood, tunic covered in ghastly splatters.

She barely made it to the toilet before she heaved her lunch, breakfast and dinner out. Sweating as her body was wracked by powerful shivers.

When Sakura felt well enough to stand, she washed her face with cold water and made her way to the front-desk to check out of her shift. It was then she decided that perhaps she needed to accept this new reality, and that she _wasn't_ okay after everything she had faced.

Maybe she really did need time to recover.

Because Sakura was never weak to blood. Either something was wrong with her mind or her body.

As she signed out on her clock-in sheet, she also filled in a form requesting a few days off; she contrived some weak lie to the administrator on duty that she needed to help out with a relative's memorial service for a few days and should there be any problem she was free to take it up with Tsunade.

Lucky for her, nobody liked disturbing Tsunade with simple matters and everybody knew of Sakura's relationship with her.

After filling all the requisite forms Sakura turned to leave, drawing her jacket closer around herself against the cold weather outside. Noticing someone struggling at the entrance, Sakura hurried over, holding the heavy door open for a mum with a stroller who had been trying to get inside.

The woman smiled warmly at Sakura, thanking her, and Sakura returned her smile, waving at the cute baby in her arms.

Oh.

 _Oh shit._

The door slammed painfully against Sakura's side as her grip on it slackened and she almost threw up then and there.

 _Something that a dying girl wouldn't have thought to consider._

She compartmentalised all the probabilities and possibilities in her mind as she walked the route to the civilian pharmacy in a district far from her home.

Every step of the way she doubted herself more and more. She had been in hospital for two weeks, there is no way they wouldn't have picked something like that up.

She grabbed three boxes off the shelf and laid it on the table. Thankfully she wasn't recognised, and to be fair, Sakura's look had changed a lot since her waking – since she was no longer on active duty, she didn't wear shinobi clothing and instead stuck to a long sleeve navy top which hid the small weight she had gained during her recovery, and a pair of grey cropped trousers. Her auburn hair was long enough she could braid it into a tiny plait, and since she preferred to go unrecognised after her whole ordeal, she wore a pair of fake glasses to help mute her verdant eyes somewhat.

Stuffing the paper bag in her satchel Sakura thanked the cashier and made her way back the long walk home.

By the time she reached her parents house she was exhausted, but her mother called her over, asking she help set the table.

Her parents already didn't like that Sakura had returned to work in the hospital, and so she agreed without complaint, wanting to do little to fan the flames of an already touchy subject.

Sakura had been washing the dishes after their meal when she heard her mother call out to her in a shrill tone.

"Sakura!"

Drying her hands on a tea towel, Sakura made her way over to where her mother was calling for her from the foyer.

"Yes mother."

"What," She held up a paper package in one hand, Sakura's opened satchel in the other, "Is _this_!?"

Sakura sighed deeply, tired and exasperated all at once.

"Pregnancy tests." She replied simply.

"And why," her mother continued, her voice reaching ever higher notes, "Do you have them!"

"They are for the hospital, we ran out of supplies and won't be getting a delivery till Monday."

Her mother narrowed her eyes doubtfully, her tone distrustful.

"Why would you buy three tests to supply a whole hospital."

"Its for A&E. The department where I work. We don't test every patient but need spares just in case." Sakura sighed, levelling her mother with a look which dared her to test her logic.

For Sakura knew her mother, an unambitious housewife who never wanted more, or pressed herself to be more than a controller and a gossip, did not know enough about her real life to truly find flaw in it.

Before her mother could say anything, Sakura grabbed the package from her mother's hand and her satchel from the other, stuffing one in the other before she made her way upstairs, turning around to add one last comment halfway up.

"I don't mind if you wish to go through my possessions, if that's what makes you feel better, since I do live under your roof after all. But I would appreciate it if you would at least _ask_ me first. I have no secrets to hide mother."

 _Just a tad bit of depression, a smidge of night terrors, the occasional fainting and puking episode, and the glowing possibility of something growing in my uterus._

 _Oh, and did I mention I had sex with one of the most renowned, dangerous men in the shinobi world?_

Sakura kept those thoughts to herself, knowing that any sign of weakness she showed to her mother would only strengthen her already intense hatred of the shinobi profession and how right she is, and how Sakura should never return to active duty ever again – even as a medic.

oOo

Sakura peed on the sticks one at a time before lining them up side-by-side on her counter as she waited for them to develop.

She counted the minutes down and before she turned to look, she clasped her hands together in a small prayer.

But Sakura's lips froze against missing words. She stopped and truly thought to herself – what outcome did she really want out of this?

She could never admit it aloud, or even to her inner self, but deep within her soul _she knew_. And it was that knowing, that deep buried desire within herself, that kept her from throwing up again when she stared at six blue lines across the tests.

But it didn't stop the tears rolling down her cheeks, nor the fear crawling its way down into the pit of her belly.

Because Sakura knew, now more than ever, that there was a great difference between wanting something, and having that something in the reality with which you live, with which it may not fit.

* * *

A/N: Shit is starting to get **real** people.

I hope you will forgive the shorter chapter with a quicker update than usual. And thank you **so much** everyone for the overwhelmingly positive comments and support you've given this story, every single one (include the random Spanish ones) reminds me to get on it and write quicker before weeks turn to months and oh shit its been almost a year since I've updated.

Hopefully I want to get at least one more chapter out before the year ends (with actual appearances from everyone favourite goth-boy) but if all goes to shit I hope everyone has a fantastic xmas and new year!


	9. Heartbeat

Ever since Sakura discovered she was pregnant she had been having weird dreams. But nothing since had come close to what she had experienced that night. In fact nothing in her entire life compared to what it had been.

More than a dream, it was almost like she had stepped into an alternate reality. A version of the future destined to fruition.

She could only deduce it was a future in which the foetus inside her never had the chance to be born, for she saw herself only once within the dream – standing beside Naruto on the battlefield, tall and slim, hair cropped short and gloved hands alight with chakara.

And then a flash of light so blinding she could hardly open her eyes, and the scene shifted from the grassy battlefield, surrounded by comrades, to a dark clearing, rain drenching the empty buildings in a grey shade.

The flash she realised, was lighting, descending from the sky and splitting the ground open. She quickly realised she was merely a spectator, watching in slow-dawning horror as the electricity convulsed and swirled, gathering in one anchoring spot – the palm of Sasuke's hand.

Sasuke who stood taller and thinner than she remembered him, cheekbones sharper, features older and hair longer. And if his clothing were any indication, a version of him in which Naruto hadn't succeeded in returning him to Konoha. His eyes alight with the crimson of the sharingan, were sharper, crueller than she had ever seen them and the power radiating off him was tangible even though she couldn't feel it.

His foot screeched across the ground as he dug in, grasping purchase as he launched himself forward, palm alight with the glow of chidori raised.

Sakura's eyes followed his movements in slow horror, as she turned towards the direction of his attack.

Lighting glanced of sharp features as the chidori came a hairsbreadth away, splitting the edges of raven hair before he disappeared in a cloud of crows.

Itachi. Oh _Itachi_.

Sakura felt tears pour down her cheeks at the sight of him alone.

Slightly taller with raven hair framing his face slightly longer, his cheeks thinner and his eyes sharper. His features had matured slightly but more than anything he looked tired, so incredibly _tired_.

And yet he was still so fucking beautiful.

Sakura's heart wrenched in her chest as she watched this Itachi counter attack after attack from Sasuke – and Sasuke so blinded by his hatred completely unable to see the almost glaringly obvious tactics of his brother.

The avoidance, the pulling of his punches, the leniency. The hurt etched into his features every time he threw another attack towards his younger brother.

Itachi evaded an attack from Sasuke and a shield of chakra enveloped him, protecting him as Sasuke ahead transformed into another form in order to harness more power. Sakura's heart lurched in her chest and she cried out as she watched Itachi stumble, hand covering his mouth as he coughed up blood.

But Sakura's nightmare didn't end there. She watched the whole, horrific, monstrosity play out till Itachi fell to his knees, rain pouring down on his still form.

And what scared Sakura the most wasn't the battle or the blood, it was the reality of it. It was the bone-deep realisation that this dream, this nightmare could very well happen.

In fact, it _will_ happen.

And the only reason she was seeing this was one reason and one alone. It was because today was the first time she had genuinely made a decision, it was in the split second before she had fallen asleep she had decided that Itachi didn't deserve more trouble, more hardship.

That she had to let go of this baby, because it could bring nothing good.

But the sad reality was that nothing good was coming either way and there was currently no intervention great enough to stop these two brothers.

Itachi was destined to die like this unless someone stopped it.

oOo

Ino was surprised to see Sakura walk through the Yamanaka shop so early in the morning, but less surprised when Sakura asked if they could go for a walk and some coffee. Ino called over Shizu, the shop assistant to cover the front desk immediately, and replacing her apron for a light jacket followed Sakura outside.

They walked for a while making idle chatter, general gossip, as they grabbed melon buns and hot drinks in takeaway cups. Eventually their meandering walk led them to the familiar training grounds, and they sat against the three memorable stumps that held a long history for more than just them.

A way in the distance a freshly formed group of genin were training with their sensei, and the girls lapsed into silence as they watched the excitable energy.

"So," Ino began, breaking the silence, "Are you going to share, or would you rather wait till a third war has come and gone?"

Sakura snorted ungracefully, Ino always had a way of reading her emotions.

Reaching out Sakura took the drink from Ino's hand and placed it on the floor.

"I uh, I'm _pregnant_." Sakura spoke, looking directly into Ino's baby blue eyes.

Sakura was instantly glad she had pulled her drink away because Ino sat staring blankly for a good minute with her mouth wide open, her mind clearly running a mile a minute.

"Oh my God, you're not joking, are you?" Sakura shook her head in the negative, "And was this- were you-?" Ino babbled trying to tease apart the convoluted mess of her thoughts.

But Sakura had already anticipated what she would say, and with slightly guilty eyes she answered quietly:

"It was consensual."

"And was this when…" she trailed off but Sakura already grasping her meaning nodded in agreement.

"Uh- how? Do you-?" her hands mimed awkwardly in the air desperately trying to make sense of what she wanted to ask.

Sakura turned to watch the genin again, her voice steady and calm for the weight of what she was speaking.

"Do you remember the first time we had a sleepover all us girls?"

Ino squinted in concentration, not quite remembering.

"It was not long after the chunin exams, Hinata invited us round, and Tenten was there too. Kurenai-sensei had been the one to suggest it, she didn't want there to be unnecessary animosity amongst us now that the exams were over."

Ino nodded in sudden remembrance, but confusion remained written all over her face, not quite understanding the reason for this detour.

"Remember when we were talking about boys and me and you were arguing over something stupid about Sasuke?"

"Yeah…" Ino trailed off, a dark thread of worry lacing her voice at the mention of Sasuke.

Sakura grimaced internally, if she was worried about Sasuke, imagine how she would feel about the real person…

"Tenten had just come back from a scary mission and she said, despite everything the one thing she didn't want to happen was, she didn't want to-"

" – _die a virgin_." Ino interrupted suddenly remembering distinctly the conversation.

"Yeah." Was all Sakura responded swallowing thickly as she reigned in the emotion the innocent conversation broke, before lapsing back into silence.

After a minute or so Sakura turned back toward Ino and was surprised to find tears on her cheeks and an anguished look on her face. Sakura smiled sadly at her, for all the blonde jokes that Ino had thrown at her as a child, for all her obsession with crushes and beauty, Ino was a smart cookie with an incredible emotional intelligence. She was far better at picking up subtle ques than Sakura had ever been.

"I can't say it," Sakura spoke around a voice heavy with emotion, "Because I'm afraid of putting you at risk, but I also don't know what to do."

Ino nodded in understanding, knowing better than anyone the risk of sure knowledge. If she were caught and her mind searched, the clear memory of Sakura telling her something was sure to put them both in danger, Ino's conjecture on the other hand, which was something concluded from a series of her own leading memories, was something harder to take advantage of.

"Do you want to keep it?" Ino asked carefully, and sensing Sakura's hesitation, Ino grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye with intensity.

"Forget _everything_ else right now. Imagine you lived in a cottage far away, just you and this foetus, would you keep it?"

"Without a doubt." Sakura's instant reply was soft but her words were firm and unyielding. And in that singular moment Sakura realised that there never had been another option, that this had been the only choice, the only outcome from the second she asked Itachi to touch her.

"Do you love him?" Ino asked quietly, her voice gentle.

Despite all her strength throughout, this was the admittance that truly hurt Sakura, and tears ran freely down her face as she spoke around a sob.

" _Too much._ " She cried.

And then they were both crying and hugging and Ino knew then that there was no going back from here, that she was going to protect Sakura and this unborn child even if it cost her her life, because she didn't doubt for a second that Sakura would do the same for her.

oOo

" _Lets speak to Kakashi_."

Sakura recalled Ino's words as she packed her belongings into a duffle bag. Per Ino's suggestion she was going to spend a couple nights with Naruto, and if it seemed like a suitable living arrangement she might move there. Naruto had been joyful if not triumphant about the whole thing, and Sakura realised and appreciated the extra care he had put into treating her. She would tell him of the pregnancy when the time was right, and if he felt comfortable, she might ask if she could stay with him at least till the end of her pregnancy. Ino had her family around her and Sakura did not want to endanger that no matter how much she insisted, Naruto on the other hand had a room to spare, and was strong and safe, and had enough warmth to thaw even the coldest hearts.

And he could probably do with the company she reasoned as she took in the dusty, lonely apartment.

Wiping her hands across the desk, she hefted her lone duffle bag onto the desk in Naruto's only spare room, reminiscing the earlier conversation with her parents as she unpacked her bag.

Sakura knew she had to tell her parents before she left, because the last thing she wanted was for them to hear it second-hand, and with the way news travelled in Konoha it was likely the whole village would know before even the father.

Well not if she could help it at least…

" _Mother, father, I have something to share with you…"_

 _Sakura wrung her hands together nervously, dread a heavy stone in her stomach which only seemed to harden at the look of anticipatory horror on her mother's face._

" _Please hear me out to the end. And please, if you truly love me as your daughter, just try to understand my perspective even a little…"_

 _Sakura took a deep breath, praying for courage before taking the first big step on a road with many, surely more difficult, ones._

" _I have been a shinobi ever since I was a child. And although you were against it, you allowed me to attend the academy I so desperately wanted to, and for that I am forever grateful. Being a shinobi is part of the fabric of my very being. And honestly it didn't mean so much to me till I was put into a team with Sasuke and Naruto and Kakashi. I always wanted siblings, someone to joke around with and someone to have my back, and being in that team gave me exactly that. I stopped having time to feel lonely or anxious about my insecurities, I was just me."_

 _Sakura paused, taking a deep breath and using the opportunity to survey her parents' expressions. They were confused as to the purpose of her long explanation, but she could see within her fathers eyes a sliver of understanding, and an instinctual feeling of the direction she was leading in._

" _But truthfully, I always thought I could turn away from it. That I could one day please mother and start a normal life if I had too. But the day I began training in the hospital that all changed," Sakura's gaze turned to her hands, heaviness in her voice, "That was the day I knew and understood true power. Power that no jutsu could give. The power to save lives, to help people."_

" _And mom, I knew you hated this more than being a shinobi, for how unsavoury it was, and how having medics adept at using chakra to heal shinobi quicker, only fuelled the cycle of shinobi returning to fight sooner and getting themselves hurt. It aided the ability for battle."_

" _The thing is," Sakura swallowed thickly, never wanting to share this information with her parents, "Whether we like it or not, we are always on the edge of battle, and right now we are on the precipice of war. Konoha has faced more threats and attacks in the past three years than it has since I was born."_

" _For this reason, and the purpose behind my long explanation, its not to glorify my job as a shinobi or a medic. Believe me I know the truly gory details of it, and the fine ethical line we tread on a daily basis, and I don't want praise or accolade, I just want you of all people to understand why I can't leave it behind, because by leaving it behind I would be leaving_ _ **you**_ _behind. I would be putting you and everyone I love at risk. I'm a skilled medic and heaven knows we don't have enough of them here."_

 _Sakura paused, taking a moment to recalibrate before getting to the truly painful part._

" _And this is the part where I want for just this one time in my life, for you both to take all the love and consideration you may have for me and keep it at the forefront of your mind. You are both so important to me and I would be miserable without you. But the thing is I am not you, and I am not the daughter you want me to be._

 _I am a shinobi, a kunoichi and a medic. And I am a girl that on a simple mission was caught off-guard and ambushed and should have died then and there, but I survived. I survived because I was saved, and you are speaking to me right now because I was saved not once but twice, and maybe even thrice by this person._

 _And… somehow, I'm pregnant."_

 _Sakura's words stopped dead and she didn't know where the rest had gone, run away with her and all her courage at having gotten the momentous news out._

 _But the prelude had been so long, that her parents had expected something big coming. Had noticed the shift in their behaviours. And Sakura could see the disgust and disapproval in her mother's face, and she tried hard to not look away._

 _Because despite everything they said nothing. There was no shouting or screaming, just her father clenching her mothers' fist at his side as if holding her back or giving her strength – she didn't know which._

 _It wasn't a victory, by far it wasn't, but it was progress, or akin to it…_

" _I'm leaving this house. I'll be staying with Naruto for a bit, so if you ever need me, I'll be there. Just, please don't tell anyone what I've told you today, for your own safety more than anything else."_

 _Sakura got up to leave and not even a single word further was said, she didn't know whether to laugh or cry._

 _Having already prepared her bag beforehand and left it at the base of the stairs, Sakura paused at the doorway to the living room, turning to regard her parents one last time before leaving._

" _Just… if anyone ever asks about me or comes for me, please just tell them everything you know and don't bother hiding anything."_

 _And with that Sakura exited, not a word left behind._

It was somewhat painful to think that despite her tumultuous relationship with her parents, they did nothing to keep her there. Sakura's hand passed ruefully over her stomach, desperate to shape her own future as a parent differently.

oOo

When Sakura met up with Kakashi at Konoha's gates, small satchel slung over her shoulder, she was surprised to find Kakashi actually arrive on time for once.

She has requested he join her on a short mission via a missive sent to his PO box in the tower, but she had purposely left the details of the request blank.

Regardless he held true to his previous promise and arrived no questions asked.

Even better, he did not question Sakura on the parameters of their trip, merely indicated for her to lead the way, and kept up with her sedate pace and nervous small-talk as they travelled. After around three hours journey towards the outskirts of Konoha, they reached at a small stop-over town, housing largely a civilian community, and Sakura led the way towards a small, family-run clinic.

Kakashi asked no questions till she was inside being handed a clip chart with forms by a young woman with a kind face.

"Is this the father?" the assistant asked gesturing to Kakashi who stood wide-eyed at the exchange.

Sakura smiled softly, reaching for the pen, bizarrely feeling a strong desire to laugh at Kakashi's reaction.

"No, he's my guardian."

The assistant merely nodded in understanding, showing no judgement nor opinion as Sakura took a seat, scribbling in answers to the questions.

It took him a moment but eventually Kakashi sat down next to her with a heavy whoosh.

"Is this-" Kakashi's voice was slightly hoarse with shock, but he wasn't a prodigious genius for nothing, "Are you here to remove –"

"No." Sakura spoke quietly, "We're here to see if it's alive."

Wordlessly Kakashi raised his forehead protector and turned his lone Sharingan eye on her, assessing silently.

But Sakura had turned back to her forms, not wanting to know the results of his ability and after a long pause which felt like forever, Kakashi merely said:

"Ok then."

Not another word was said till Sakura was led to a room, given a gown to change into and then directed to another room, she had quietly requested her 'guardian' be present in the assessment room, and he made no move to object, merely nodding and following the nurse when told.

Sakura was lying on her back, jelly on her abdomen and anxiety in her eyes. Kakashi hovered by the door not quite sure if he should stay or go and Sakura didn't want to be the one to force him to stay either.

Trembling slightly, the young teen felt tears well in the corners of her eyes, squeezing them shut as the nurse placed the cold metal probe against her stomach, fear of a negative outcome thundering through her entire body.

But the moment of panic subsided the second Kakashi flitted to her side, his calloused fingers squeezing her shoulder reassuringly, and Sakura reached for his hand, grasping it tightly but keeping her eyes shut.

Suddenly a dull thudding sound echoed around the room and it was as if every single thing in the whole entire universe faded out of existence and all Sakura could hear, see, feel was that familiar dull pulsing sound encapsulating the small room.

The steady, consistent thump of a heartbeat.

Sakura's teeth clenched together as she tried desperately to hold back the sob that tried to escape, but it was hopeless as her eyes opened and she glanced at the small grainy image, the familiar waves of an ultrasound shaped around a tiny bean of a foetus, pulsing rhythmically on the screen.

A shaky exhale left her body as tears soaked the pillow beneath her head. The nurse stood and quietly excused herself from the room, giving the odd pair a few moments alone.

Sakura couldn't bear to look away from the image but could feel the emotion from the tightness of Kakashi's grip alone. Her words came out breathless and trembling as she spoke to him:

"Kakashi you know, despite _everything_ this incredible shitshow has been, I have _**no**_ regrets."

He said nothing and she thought that was it, but after a long moments pause, his hoarse voice spoke beside her ear, his gaze focused on the image.

"Hard to regret a fucking miracle isn't it." He sighed heavily and suddenly he sounded much, much older, wrought by years of painful experiences. "How a foetus could survive such a close shave with death is beyond me."

"Must be some incredible genetics." He added after a moment's pause.

Sakura laughed mirthlessly, the exact same thought had been occupying her mind.

"You have no idea."

Kakashi's next words were quiet and hesitant, an unwilling question breaching his lips.

"Will I ever get to meet the guy?"

It was a long time before Sakura could reply, but just like the strength of that pulsing heartbeat, she had made her discussion and she intended to stand by it.

"Actually… I was hoping you would help me achieve just that."

* * *

A/N: Apologies for the incredible delay, the past few months have been an incredible shitshow. Literally the day after posting the previous chapter a close friends' parent passed away and it just sapped all my desire to write. To those of you who have ever lost a close one, my heart goes out to you, its a horrible experience to have, even more so because its not just a one-time-thing, its your life from then on out changed completely.

I also just want to say thank you so much for everyone's amazing reviews, I read every one and will try to reply where I can. When I first started this story, there was actually a long break between updates because it didn't have a positive reception and I was tempted to give up, but thanks to the few lovely reviews and my desire to see this weird plot to fruition, we have come this far, and I hope you will follow me to the end :)

If you guys ever wanna talk hmu on tumblr at reirashi (theres nothing but art references and shitty memes, but isn't that basically what tumblr is?)


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